Trust What You Can't See?
by 47-for-YiKyung
Summary: Kira's new captain makes him suspicious. As time goes on though, things become apparent for him. The line he once thought was whole has altered dangerously. What he can't see though, can't hurt him, can it? Will people's hearts change once they cross the boundary of ally to enemy? Whether it does, won't matter in the end. KiraxOC (Prologue-4,6-9: short chaps. 5, 10-11: long chaps.)
1. Prologue: Red Ribbon of Fate

Prologue

Red Ribbon of Fate

Gin walked around the corner, and his captain's haori lightly shifted in the breeze. He was done substitute teaching at the academy and he was just wandering some random district to escape his boredom. None of the student shinigami had impressed him. Amusing as it was at first, some girls even tried confessing to him. Most likely trying to get a spot in the advanced classes I suppose, Gin thought. His first class was fun while he could unnerve the students, but it became boring as they had shown no good skills. It was a boring day at school. He didn't want to head back to Yamamoto and report what he saw in the students, then go back to his squad to listen to his lieutenant nag about paperwork. He was going to give himself a day off.

He was beginning to get lost in his thoughts when a girl bumped into him. The jolt of the contact caused him to have a mild recoil and his hand was on the hilt of his sword in a swift second. His stance was relaxed but ready. Then, he looked down. Small thing isn't she, he thought with surprise. She looked up at him with fear and backed away to give a bow.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me! It was my fault and I wasn't looking." The girl bowed and her tangled hair fell beside her face.

Gin retracted his hand from his hilt and then began to relax. She must try very hard to keep it even that clean, Gin observed. He looked at her small stature. Her clothes were a dulling black, and he could see the cuts and patches from underneath the fabric. She looked up and Gin had an electric current run through him. Well, she have quite the spiritual pressure. But what caught him more were her bright eyes. Gin smiled. "Where were you heading to miss?" He was curious now. Maybe she could provide the answer to his boredom. He noticed the piece of paper that she was holding neatly in her hands. He also noticed how smooth her hands looked. All of it was odd.

The young girl looked up to the silver haired man. He's a captain, so I mean, he shouldn't be one of _those _men, she figured. "I was going to Shino academy." She smiled then, trying to mask her sadness. Her blue eyes looked expectantly at the captain. She wondered, if he could even see her with such narrow eyes.

"Why is that?" Gin spotted a man passing by with a bag of rice over his shoulder, he silently chuckled as the rice was leaking through a hole. Then he turned his attention back to the girl. He was astonished that she also saw the man and his rice bag.

"Sir," she followed the older man, "your rice is falling." She motioned to the hole in the bag. He looked at her very wary. She slipped the paper in her shirt and tried to give the man a friendly smile.

Well, isn't that just plain rude, Gin thought disdainfully. He watched as the man beamed with gratitude to the girl. No wonder she's going to be a shinigami, he added with an internal laugh, I bet she'll be in Unohana's squad with all the rest of those nice girls. He sighed and waited for the girl. He wasn't going to let this prey go just yet.

The man put down his bag of rice and kneeled next to it. His gratitude was then soiled by the realization that he had been walking for a while. "Ah, so much rice! How am I going to explain this to the kids?" The man had saved up money just to buy a bag of rice for his family, and as it was, rice was hard to come by where he came from. He looked to the bag, hopeless.

Balancing on her feet, she looked at the stranger's pained face. She rummaged through her under shirt and pulled out a worn pouch. She kneeled next to him. The man looked questioningly and was met by a small handful of silver coins. "Have them," she said, as she put the pouch back in her clothes.

Is this girl serious, he wondered. He stared at the silver mesmerized. Shaking the trance from him, he quickly explained, "I'm sorry, but I don't take money from strangers." He looked down ashamed he had momentarily entertained the thought of taking them and being grateful. With silver coins, he could have bought meat to make up for the lost rice.

Gin was still standing, waiting for the girl. He was beginning to feel left out. What is she trying to do? He leaned against a nearby wall and folded his arms. Then, he made a quirk realization. She has silver coins. Gin looked the girl over, and it was obvious that she was poor, but with the silver gleaming in her palm, he began to question her. Who was this girl going to the academy?

She smiled wider and outstretched her other hand to show the older man some kindness. She pushed the coins in and made his rough fingers wrap around the silver. "My name is Tomoko Matsuyama, and for this instant, I am your friend. So take the money. I'll be coming up with more soon enough." She let go of the coins and looked to the bag. While the stranger looked at the silver coins in amazement, Tomoko began to shift the bag upside down.

The man was confused by her actions, and puzzled at what she was doing with the bag. "Miss, if you wanted the rice for the silver, I'd of-" He was cut off by the rip of Tomoko's sleeve. She quickly tied the strip around the area that the hole did not reach, and created a block so the rice could no longer trickle down the hole. She turned it over to check if the tie was strong enough and stood up. The bag was now tied at two ends and the rice appeared like a small pillow, much to Tomoko's amusement.

"All fixed!" Tomoko smiled triumphantly. She bowed and offered the bag to the man. She felt her hair slip past her ear.

"Oh, Miss, all you've done…" The stranger felt indebted to this girl. He began to feel foolish as he stood up, holding the coins in his closed hand as if it was a bird that would soon flee.

"Don't say another word. Just go," Tomoko requested with stern compassion. A few seconds passed. But Tomoko kept her smile, finally feeling the weight of the rice bag lift. The footsteps of the man slowly became nothing and she stood up straight stretching to the sky. "Ah! Stretch!"

"Well, what a show." Gin grinned, concealing his curiosity. This girl had the money to get a new dress and to get a decent comb for her dark hair. She had money to give away apparently too. So why the clothes, if the money was talking loud and clear. "You must work a lot if you had silver coins."

Tomoko turned back to the captain, she had completely forgotten him in the background. "Well, that…" she hesitated, but chose not to answer. "I've really must go, I'm sorry." She was beginning to feel timid under his glance. She could sense him trying to delve through the outer skin of her character. It was unsettling for her.

"Let me escort you, I was going to head back sooner or later." Gin used his grin to weasel his way next to Tomoko. Silently, he knew that she had conceded and they both walked in silence. "So, what's that paper for?" He glanced at her chest as she took the paper from her shirt.

Okay, now he seems like a pervert, Tomoko sighed inwardly. "It's a resignation letter." Tomoko's plan was to discourage the curious captain with the short and sweet answers. She wasn't in much of a mood to have company.

He was surprised, but he kept his grin. He questioned why she would want to resign from the academy. "Why? You obviously have the spiritual pressure." Though, he would note to himself, it had a different feel to it than the usual spiritual pressure of shinigami. Breathing, was what he chose to describe it. Breathing and alive.

"I don't want to be a shinigami." Tomoko was beginning to feel vulnerable against the tall shinigami. She didn't want him to know too much.

"Well, that's just a waste," Gin whined, pouting at the girl. "Maybe I could convince you otherwise."

"No that's…" Tomoko sighed, "My mind is made." She looked down at the paper. She reread the word. Resignation. It repeated in her head like an echo of a sad note.

It was silence after that for a while. Gin looked at her, then moved onto her hair. If she was given more, it could really look beautiful, he commented to himself. His eyes caught the sight of a familiar store and he wanted to get something before he was going back to the place he didn't want to see for a while. "I really want to convince you still, but I have a favor to a friend that this store may fulfill." He smiled down at her, and made his way inside the store. "Oh!" He turned to face Tomoko with a confused expression. "Don't you go anywhere~ I'll be sure to catch you!" He waved his finger back and forth as if he were talking to a dog and headed inside.

"What?" Tomoko murmured to herself and looked at where the captain had just entered. She wondered if she should wait. Sighing, she looked at the resignation letter.

***Later***

"Ah, and I thought I was only playing tricks with myself." Gin looked around and found that Tomoko was no where to be seen. He had sensed the loss of her spiritual pressure, but assumed it was just because she was trying to hide it for some reason or another. He held onto the bag of dried persimmons and took one out to plop into his mouth.

What a strange girl, he thought. He chewed the persimmon and lavished in it's slight cinnamon taste. He put the small bag of persimmons away and began to walk away towards the shinigami headquarters.

The sun was setting, its rays gently caressing the landscape. While Gin was heading back to his Squad, elsewhere Tomoko was alone sitting near a river. Looking at her reflection, a growing shame accumulated itself in the pit of her stomach. She held the tears from her eyes. The meadow remained quiet as she let out a whimper. She held the resignation letter in a twisted grip.

***The next morning***

Gin woke up in his bed and looked at the budding sunlight through his window. He had a dream that perturbed him profoundly and now he was grinning as if his grin could scare away the startling images. He looked to his nightstand and looked at the red ribbon he had bought yesterday. He could only imagine what it would look like in her dark, long hair.

He swung his feet off the bed. It was time to meet Aizen, and he knew it was best to try and act like it was like any other morning. He looked at the ribbon though, searching for the reason why he really got it. The grin had slipped and became a confused frown. Tomoko Matsuyama, he silently thought to himself, she must have some reason to haunt my dreams.


	2. Chapter 1: Cold Shoulder

Chapter 1- Cold Shoulder

"It was a pleasure to burn," the shinigami quietly murmured to herself.

The room had been quiet and it had settled too deeply between the new captain and distraught lieutenant. Her murmured words resounded unnaturally loud against the silence.

"What Captain Matsuyama?" Lieutenant Kira looked up from his paperwork and stared at his new captain.

"Ah…" she stared at Kira dumbfounded for a second then regained herself. "It's nothing. I'm just spellbound that I'm actually here." She sighed and looked at him with worry in her eyes. "I'm feeling guilty."

Kira looked at this foreign woman, then looked at his papers. He couldn't say she _should _feel guilty, it would be rude. But all his heart wasn't ready for the idea that two weeks after the betrayal, Squad 3 had a new captain. For that new captain to come fresh from the academy, be in squad 13 for such a short time, and become a captain right away, it would have sent up red flags for all of the shinigami of the Soul Society. Even Captain Ukitake, her former, and now fellow, captain, vaguely knew her by name. Yet, here she was, wearing the Squad 3 captain haori that Gin once wore.

***A week prior***

A hell butterfly flew into the room where Kira and Rangiku were attempting to get drunk in order to swallow their pain of Gin's betrayal. Rangiku with alert eyes, watched it flutter in and Kira looked up. It landed on his nose. The butterfly left and Rangiku watched as Kira was transformed from a sad, drunken man to…an even sadder, half drunk man.

She waited. "Well, what it say Kira?" Rangiku asked curiously, staring him down in her drunken state.

Kira stood up and then sat on a chair next to the table littered with soba bun crumbs. He looked at her with a pained expression and said, "Yamamoto has chosen a new captain for Squad 3."

Rangiku's eyes widened. "They can't do that!" She threw her cup at the wall, startling the disheveled Kira enough to jump. "It's waaay too early to do this to your squad! Is it because you aren't good enough to be a leader of your own squad? That's just plain cruel to throw you a new captain!" She gave a quick huff, and crossed her arms in an adamant way. In realization of her words though, she quickly looked at Kira who hung his head down in shame. She reached out for his shoulder in an attempt for forgiveness. He swatted her hand away.

"You're drunk, but even when you are, you're right. I'm not a good leader, but if the standards for a good leader were set by a traitor like Gin, then surely I could've…I could have at least… they didn't even give me a chance." Kira sighed, but got up abruptly to leave. Opening the door, he walked into a new darkness, letting it unconsciously embrace him.

Rangiku stood and looked to Kira's direction, somewhat proud of his new found rash but commendable action.

But, then she stared some more, and some more after that. She grew suspicious, wondering why the scene didn't look right. "Ah! Kira! You walked! I mean-that's a closet!" She pointed at it in a triumphant gesture. Then began banging on the wood doors of the closet in an endeavor to save her friend. He fell out and Rangiku watched as Kira struggled against rolls of bandages, crawling far from the closet with a melancholy feeling returning. "Thanks for the update Rangiku." He sighed, rolling onto his back and began looking up to the ceiling in defeat.

She bent over to look at him with her hands on her hips, raising an eyebrow. "So, are you staying or are you leaving?"

***Present***

"Lieutenant Kira, what's wrong?" Captain Matsuyama was in front of the blonde shinigami, waving her hands to bring him from his sudden daze.

He shook off the feeling of annoyance with his new captain and decided to be civil; loyalty could wait until after he knows he could trust her, and even after that, the question would remain if he truly did. Standing up, he shuffled some papers and pointed out, "I'll escort you to the captain's meeting room." He refrained from adding, -since you don't even know where it is yet.

Captain Matsuyama nodded, feigning a similar civil composure as they both exited the Squad 3 Captain room.

"Here it is," Kira said holding his papers in one hand, the other pointing to the large doors. Once assuring she was sure what he was pointing at, turned and walked toward the Lieutenant meeting room without another word.

The new captain looked at Kira, his hair gently swaying from the momentum of his walk.

Her face was unreadable, but she smiled brightly in a hopeful gesture to herself. How could she not forgive Kira for acting cold? She was conscious of the distrust he must have. She figured for herself, that a lot of distrust would linger around her for a while. Kira wasn't going to be the first.

She felt the door, pressed her palm on the wood and wondered if what she was told before, was what she was going to see in those captains. The only way she could find out, was to open the door. Open the door she did.


	3. Chapter 2: Wake Up Kira

**YiKyung: Just wrote this. I had some problems with the chapter, but all is resolved and now you may read. Thank you for reading!**

**Oh! I'm sorry I'm really bad at staying with one name. Hopefully you know first and last name basis of most characters because I just like to bounce from one to the other. If it happens, sorry! I'm trying to clean it up.**

**Disclaimer: Bleach and it's characters are owned by Tite Kubo.**

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Chapter 2- Wake up Kira

***Towards the Meeting Room***

"Hey Kira!" Matsumoto said, catching up to the blonde. Her bosom bouncing as she ran towards him.

He turned, and looked at her with some underlying annoyance. "What is it Rangiku?" He spat out her name unkindly.

She pouted and began to walk with him. "Kira! Tsk! Is that how you're going to start treating me after I've been so nice? I saved you when you were trapped in the closet and even treated you to a dinner after! Gosh, you can be so cruel!" She looked away with fake tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Rangiku," he replied quickly, in an abashed fashion. "The new captain…I just don't believe in her yet." He held the papers close to his heart, attempting to smother the idea that she even existed. All the information he knew of his own captain, the person he was to put his life in the hands of, was in a one-sided page profile.

"Are those the memos?" Rangiku proceeded to take a slip, as Kira attempted to recover it from her in a frenzied way. He gave up and gave her a stern look. He was definitely not in the mood to play "keep away from Kira" with Rangiku. She would have most likely hid the paper in her breasts, and he did not want to start being seen and pestered as a pervert for the next week.

Rangiku's eyes went wide as she read the information. "Waah, the paper…it's so white!" She flipped the page over and found nothing. "I wonder why they didn't add any more information about her. When I was given Toshiro's, it was full of stuff. The most random stuff. I swear Momo must've wrote it." Thinking back, Rangiku did find it startlingly fall into place.

"I'm not even sure. I'm thinking it's one of Aizen's tricks." Kira kept walking, but then noticed Rangiku stopped. "What?"

Rangiku looked at Kira with a serious expression. "I wouldn't just jump to conclusions like that Kira. It's not only dangerous, but unhealthy. If you continue to talk like that, then it just makes you look that much more weak as a man." Rangiku began to walk again and Kira was left stunned by Rangiku's brisk statement. He had to run to catch up to her, looking like a fool.

***In the Meeting Room***

The lieutenants present were eager to hear of the new Squad 3 captain. After Gin, they were expecting only unnerving candidates to replace the former unnerving captain.

"So, what do you think the captain is going to look like?" Renji asked Shuuhei, who only shrugged with a pensive look to the ceiling.

"Since Ichimaru usually always closed his eyes, maybe it'll be somebody with huge eyes. Maybe somebody shorter." Then Shuuhei imagined it, and shuddered at the thought of a short man with large bug eyes leading them to battle against the former captain. It would only make Squad 3 look desperate for leadership.

Renji nodded, but then added, "Well, maybe it's a woman." Both men nodded. A woman. That's what Squad 3 needed. A woman's touch to help them feel less betrayed. "If she were nice, maybe then they wouldn't be so hurt from Gin's betrayal. It would possibly attract more women to join the 13 Court Guards."

"Ah yes, of course." Shuuhei agreed and looked to Iba.

His manly silence being interrupted, he looked towards Shuuhei.

"What's wrong with that idea?" Shuuhei asked, raising an eyebrow.

He didn't answer at first, in order to collect his thoughts and give his words some worth. Iba, being the man he is, began with, "Women-"

"Start and I will have you written up for sexual harassment Iba." Nanao's glasses had an glint as she glared at Iba. In return, he gave a gruff nod, attempting to beat her glasses with his sunglasses. Iba gave up, muttering to himself about fighting petty fights over nothing like teenage girls.

Nanao sighed, annoyed and tired. The rebuilding of the Squad 8 barracks became a very slow process and it didn't help that her captain was still lazing around. She would have talked to Isane about these problems, but she was too busy with the injured shinigami in the Squad 4 barracks. With Momo gone, she had another person to worry about. All she had left in the meeting was the Yachiru and Nemu, and neither of them would have been as sympathetic, even receptive to a conversation. She wasn't even going to think about Rangiku's point of view on her stress. Her captain was most likely Rangiku's drinking buddy. Birds of a feather flock together anyway.

"Hello~" Rangiku walked into the room and noticed the tense air. "What happened in here?"

Yachiru looked up. "We want to know about the new captain!" Yachiru smiled and then pouted, looking around Rangiku. "Where is Izurun?"

Rangiku looked behind her and Kira stepped into the room. It surprised him that Chojiro wasn't there. But he figured he had already met his new captain. It was Yamamoto that chose her anyway.

"Oi, Kira, what news have you brought?" Renji looked towards Kira as it was evident everybody wanted to know.

For a slight moment, Kira was angry. Were they excited for the change? Did they not know how fresh the wound from Gin was? They act like it's a pleasant surprise, but it wasn't to him. "Why?" He spoke quick and with poison. His anger bubbling slightly.

Nanao spoke up. "Because we're concerned too." She had sensed the darker side of Kira overwhelm him. She may not have much time with others besides work, but she knew enough to read them.

Kira looked away knowing that he was in the wrong for a second and quietly passed the memos around. Sitting down, he began, knowing how improper he must've looked to them. But they let it pass. They didn't know what he was going through, but he looked terribly wrecked.

"Her name is Tomoko Matsuyama. She was born November 6th in district 13. She has no known family members. Her blood type is B and she's a Scorpio. She is 5" with long black hair and pale complexion. She has blue eyes and no beauty marks on her face or hands. She has made no alterations to her shinigami uniform or captain haori. She keeps her hair in a ponytail using a red ribbon as her hair tie."

"She was in the Academy for only a few months, with accelerated classes, and quickly chosen to graduate before her class after a group of students were attacked by a menos grande on a contained field exercise where she achieved her skikai. She became a shinigami under Captain Ukitake, but remained unranked. Upon the event of Rukia's execution and the betrayal of Squad 3, 5, and 9," the room had all eyes on Kira, obviously concerned with how he was going to handle retelling the touchy subject.

But he lulled on, "She learned her bankai while on a field mission else where with six other unranked shinigami of division 13 and she has a elemental based zanpakuto. The captains that had supervised her inauguration to become captain were Captain Yamamoto, Captain Soi Fon, and Captain Unohana. The formal process went null for a while because of the situation in which the cause of her instant rise to captain came from what the uncertainty they had in me as a leader. And that's all I know." He stared at the lieutenants and they stared back.

Shuuhei was the first to act. "Kira, I don't think that they did it because you're a bad leader. I think-"

"It doesn't matter what you think Hisagi, they thought otherwise." Kira began to glare at the dark haired shinigami. "What do you know about being the under dog like this though? You've always had it great being held so high. Must be nice knowing people could believe in you." The annoyance that Kira had today had finally curdled into vicious spite.

"That's not it Kira, just hear me out." Shuuhei began, becoming a little more serious.

"What's so great about your voice that mine can't be heard!" With that, Kira stood up, and bolted out the room.

"Damn it Kira!" Shuuhei was soon running after him.

There was a uncomfortable silence in the room.

Nanao began, "Should we, maybe-"

"No."

"What?" Nanao looked toward Iba.

"Let men be men." Inwardly, he was proud of himself. He could play the passive aggressor too.

***Outside the Captain's Meeting***

"Kira! Get your ass back here!" Shuuhei finally got fed up and began to flash step in front of Kira. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm going to walk in there and demand that she no longer be my captain! I've been a shinigami much longer than she has and just because she has bankai already, impressed some people, flew through the academy, she can't just waltz in my squad and break what's already broken!" Kira could not contain himself. He began to hold Wabisuke by the hilt.

"Kira! Stop!" Shuuhei said as Kira was trying to shove his way towards the large doors. Kira continued to struggle against Shuuhei's persistence. "That's it!" Shuuhei sent Kira flying into the farthest pillar with a solid right punch.

Kira looked up, angry and feeling betrayed. "Do you want it to happen all over again?"

Walking towards Kira, Shuuhei looked him right in the eye with all confidence in himself, and with a slither of hope that Kira would listen. "You don't think I don't feel the same Izuru? Kaname was my mentor. The captain that I trusted." His glare intensified as Kira's began to fade. "I would talk with that man about the newspaper late at night. I laughed with him. I've help run the squad with him. Always holding him in high esteem. But I know that it was all a lie."

Kira attempted to get up. "But she's-

"Shut up Kira." Shuuhei snapped. "She's not Gin. So quit moping around as if she was."

Kira looked up truly broken. He was really becoming so confused. He turned his head away from Shuuhei.

"We got to stick together Kira. You, me, and Momo. We're all going through the same feelings. You and I both know Momo will need our help the most. So let's be strong." Shuuhei offered his hand to Kira, who sat on the ground still looking away. "Come on now," Shuuhei smiled, "I thought you could take a punch."

Sighing, but smiling back, Kira took his hand and dusted himself off. "Shuuhei," he said, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, just don't let it happen again." Reassured in their friendship, Shuuhei looked towards Kira, but couldn't quite see him past Kira's first.

"That's for punching me before." Kira proceeded to walk away to the lieutenants meeting, with Shuuhei grumbling behind.


	4. Chapter 3: The New Face of Squad 3

**YiKyung: Thank you for reading! I just want to let you readers know that Matsuyama is from Kimi wa Pet (the live action) actor for Sumire. Not some mash-up of Mastumoto and Yamamoto. Please enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo. **

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Chapter 3-The New Face of Squad 3

She entered the captain meeting and was befuddled. There was only one other person there, and it was Sajin Komamaru. She was taught he was the wolf of Squad 7, when she was being prepared to become a captain. Now was her time to shine.

"Hello!" Captain Matsuyama smiled and went toward the large captain. She outstretched her hand.

The wolf bore his eyes down to meet the young woman's. Being a gentlemen, he didn't ignore the girl. "Hello," he said, as he received the new captain's hand in his own. He shuddered slightly from the contact.

He wouldn't say it out loud, but he felt he could almost be sure that she was a stronger than she appeared. His instincts have almost never led him to wrong first impressions. Almost allowing himself to be friendlier. Though, it was in these "almost" senses that led him to be betrayed and he had to question himself now more than ever.

"I'm the new captain of Squad 3. My name is Matsuyama Tomoko, and you're Komamaru Sajin. Am I correct?" She looked up and kept her friendly smile on.

Ignoring the initial good impression, Captain Komamaru still turned forward, to the opposite wall and spoke to her without facing her. "That is correct." That ended their first conversation.

Tomoko wanted to ask why he was there so early, wanted to apologize if she was bothering him, she even wanted to confide in the wolf captain about how odd it was that she was captain, in hopes he would come to trust her a little bit more. But she was smarter than to continue when such a blunt answer is given. So instead of speaking, she stood next to him.

The complete silence they shared was serious. Tomoko inwardly smiled, and in fear of letting it spread to her face, bit her lip. The way that Captain Komamaru just acted was a sign that the other captains may feel the same. Their need to ignore or even push her away, it was evident. But Tomoko was happy still. She never expected an easy settle into the captain haori, and she was surely determined to have most, if not all of them trust her. No point in whining and feeling sorry for herself, she would've thought. In her own opinion, it wasn't the most smartest move.

As she was about to look up at the wolf captain, when Byakuya Kuchiki entered the room. He walked passed the new captain, but made an acknowledgement towards Komamaru with a curt, "Hello Captain Komamaru."

"Hello Captain Kuchiki."

Captain Matsuyama now felt left out. One stoic Kuchiki and a kind -yet currently cold- Komamaru to make up her current company and it didn't seem to be going well with first introductions. But as she looked towards the Kuchiki, she got over it. Staring at the wall seemed more entertaining than to make herself a fool in front of a uptight man such as Byakuya. Her mind began to wander to the subject of Kira. How could she get him to warm up to her, became her main objective while captain. The plan became simple in her mind: if she could get the betrayed Kira to trust her, then it would at least mean a lot to some of the sensitive captains. A way into the captains' good side when the lieutenant could vouch.

Komamaru was beginning to feel guilty for the young captain. Quickly ignoring her wasn't going to make her go away. It surely wouldn't reveal if she was an enemy or not. So, in his mind, he set out to renew the conversation he struck down. Although his largest problem was how he could start it up again.

"Do you like dogs?"

Tomoko looked up at the giant wolf. She wondered about the seriousness of the question. He turned his head to her in order to show that he was waiting for her answer. "I like dogs."

"Good." He then turned his head quickly to the wall.

Tomoko blinked. Then raised an eyebrow once she resigned into her former position, facing the wall. "Okay."

Now, Tomoko felt like an idiot. Then, a part of her wanted to call the early captains, Komamaru, Byakuya, and herself, idiots. Who wants to be standing there and not even talk to the other captains, just to have the satisfaction of being early? She questioned the practicality in this ritual. A seat was no where to be found, except the head captains, but she isn't -and she wondered if another captain- was stupid enough to actually sit in it when he came.

She could just imagine it.

"_Ah I found a seat!…Oh hello, Captain Yamamoto!….This Seat? Really?…Your's? Well… I just don't see your name anywhere on it… Oh don't get mad! It's bad for your blood pressure!… But don't worry! We'll find your chair eventually you very powerful, but very elderly and completely disoriented man. Now proceed to talk about how I have become a captain and welcome me with open arms!…Wah~ I'm completely on your side! So why are you all glaring?… Well ten against one doesn't strike me as fair, but I can glare too you know."_

Already, she could feel the stupidity in her own thinking. If only she could sit down on the ground and wait patiently. She didn't want to be see as a lazy captain though. No discipline installed in her and whatever she imagined a noble such as Byakuya to spout. She stared at the small captains that walked in and then smiled happily.

He stopped and turned to her slightly, and behind him walked Soi Fon of the Squad 2 completely ignoring everyone. Tomoko watched Soi Fon with some fascination as she walked to her position in the line up. Tomoko was always up for a challenge, and Soi Fon surely appeared as a challenge.

"Hello." Toshiro waited for a response, and Komamaru looked to the new captain, his face reading uncertainty. "Are you deaf?" Toshiro slightly glared.

"Hmm?" Tomoko was woken from her stream of thoughts. "Oh! I'm sorry, I was just thinking." Then she smiled at the Squad 10 captain, Toshiro Hitsugaya. She looked at him brightly. She knew how much he wouldn't want to be called cute. Keeping her lips shut from her own inner thoughts, she cocked her head to the side a little and said, "I'm the new Squad 3 captain, Tomoko Mastuyama." A handshake was her goal in this conversation. So he held out her hand and the cold captain shook it with caution.

She was pretty, but Toshiro didn't want to say it out loud. She looked only a little older than Momo and he still had reservations against trusting a new captain after a betrayal of three. She was too young, then again, Toshiro himself was very young for his age to become captain. "Hello, I'm Captain Hitsugaya of division 10." Accepting the handshake, it amazed him that her hands were also cold. Very cold. He looked towards her curious if she was a frost zanpakuto wielder.

"Nice to meet you Captain Hitsugaya." They kept their eye contact, Tomoko kept her smile. She wondered if Toshiro saw a Gin in her like Kira did, already holding a grudge against her.

He nodded, slightly caught off guard still. But went to standing in onto the other line. "You're supposed to be on the other side of Captain Komamaru," he said without turning. "We go by numerical order of squad."

"Ah! That would make sense." Tomoko nodded and switched to the other side of Komamaru. She watched as Shunsui Kyoraku and Jushiro Ukitake walked into the meeting room, Retsu Unohana following behind. Tomoko looked at their faces and felt a pang of tired regret. She didn't want to continue the meet and greet process with five other captains. What other choice did she have though? Silently she cursed Kira, finding him to blame for her early arrival. Inwardly sighing in exasperation, she smiled at them.

"Hello!" And so, the game begins. Again.


	5. Chapter 4: Reasons, Like Leaves

**YiKyung: Thank you for reading. I say that continuously, but I really am happy when I see somebody is reading. :) **

**Oh, btw, some mature stuff going on in this chapter. So...would it count as a lemon? You decide. But forewarning anyway!**

**Disclaimer: Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo. **

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Chapter 4 Reasons, Like Leaves

Tomoko watched as Kira left her presence. She silently closed her door and looked at her bare room. What would her next move be, she wondered. She slumped down to the floor, the door to her back, and quietly contemplated to herself what had just conspired between her and her lieutenant.

After returning to his room, Kira looked around. He picked up his towel and soap and left to the Squad 3 bath house. The night was cold and the barracks were empty. The sound of his walking echoed in the silence.

Kira was lost in his thoughts. Nothing made sense to him. Talking to his captain turned into a small revelation of feelings. Whether he was to trust her, he didn't know. He was too confused. Did he embarrass her? Was he going to be punished for being so rude? Was he in the wrong this time? How did she feel about it?

He entered the bath house and ran himself a bath. He looked at the filling tub, but had his mind on other things. Would it be wrong of him to say sorry tomorrow? He slipped out of his clothes, folding and setting them away absent mindedly. Can he ask her again though? He still wanted answers, and the answers he had gotten from her were far from what he wanted as proof for his own security. He settled into the bath water, sighing from the relieving heat. The cold had made him tense, and the hot water was his own remedy to get rid of his problems.

Kira went to the bath house alone like this often. He was one to get squeamish with other men who were bare and proud. He didn't want anybody to bother him anyway. Soon enough though, he fell asleep in the tub. The hot water embraced him and the bath had begun.

He opened his eyes. There was the sound of a closing door and Kira knew he wasn't alone.

Kira squinted to the room. "Hey, who's there?" The steam of his bath rose into the cold air. He saw a figure hiding behind the wall. Then he saw her eyes and long, wavy hair. "Captain!" He was jolted with surprise. "What are you doing here? This is the men's bath!"

"So, I can't be here?" She turned her head away blushing, but it was clear to Kira that behind the steam her body was bare. She was holding a small towel in her hands.

His cheeks began to burn and he turned around in his tub to keep from revealing the reaction between his legs.

"Kira," she said softly, her blush becoming prominent, "I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I don't mean to come off as untrustworthy to you especially. I'm just-"

"This couldn't wait until tomorrow? Maybe when both of us are clothed? Get out captain!"

There was a silence, and Kira heard the sound of bare foot steps. He exhaled in relief. But was startled with a body pressed against his back.

"Captain!"

"Shh, Kira." Kira could feel her wet body against his back. Her soft bosom rubbed against him, his body tensed. She began to lick the shell of his ear, letting him hear her tongue graze against the sensitive skin. Her lips touched the rim of his ear, letting them touch as she spoke. "I want to show you just how sorry I am lieutenant."

His breathing stopped as her hand slid from his hip, over his back, and to his chin to make him turn to look at her. She looked at him with her light blue eyes. She pulled him into a gentle kiss while her hand progressed back down his chest and abs.

At first, Kira couldn't respond. His body began to relax on its own accord, letting his eyes close and lips feel her soft lips. His eyes shot open as he felt her hand on his manhood. She caught him.

***Earlier that Day***

Kira and his new captain walked down the Squad 3 barracks in silence. Neither of them spoke a word to the other besides the mandatory questions of, "Did you sign those papers? Has the scout team come back yet? Do you remember that we're going to have a training exercise at 4 o'clock?"

"Yes. No. Yes."

"Okay."

Then they proceeded with filling out paper work. Kira felt somewhat out of his element. Considering Gin never did most, if any of his paperwork, and he had to remind himself that he couldn't just grab a stack off the captain's desk anymore. Twice he had stood up, looked at the desk, then Tomoko's raised eyebrow, and sat down, as if nothing happened. The sound of another pen in the quiet room made him irritable and aware of the new captain's presence.

By the time the day ended for the both of them, they had both come to accept that it was always going to be like this. A constant annoyance for Kira, and a silent indifference for Tomoko.

Tomoko closed the barrack gates, since it became the policy that closing the barrack doors was a captain's duty. Kira watched Tomoko close the large doors with ease. His eyes became more slit as he had a sinking feeling in his heart towards her.

Slowly she turned around, and Kira watched the moonlight caught in the ringlets of her black hair sway. She didn't want him to escort her to her quarters. She just wanted to wander the barracks for a while longer. She had things to ponder about that Kira would disturb.

Kira was planning other wise. He wanted to ask her things in the safety of secrecy. He knew the captain's quarters would have been the best place to do so. No guards. Who needed guards when you had a captain? No squad members. Loitering around a captain's quarters uninvited incurred a severe punishment set by the captain. No one. Besides Kira and his new captain. That's what he wanted.

"Let me escort you to your captain's quarters." Kira looked without expression, and Tomoko returned the same glance. For a tense minute, they faced off. She nodded and began to walk to her current residence.

Walking two paces behind her, Kira glared at the back of her head. He knew if he had to follow her, protect her, fight along side her, he could come to like her. But, he would remind himself, that was what led him to arrested. It's all Gin's fault. Kira's loyalty to his own captain, led him to become so betrayed.

"We're here. You're dismissed." Tomoko opened the door and didn't look at Kira. "Good work today, Lieutenant Izuru."

"No." Kira watched as Tomoko turn and give a stern look at her lieutenant.

"Excuse me?" Tomoko waited for his answer, now facing him with a harsh look.

"Let me in." Kira was determined. If he had to break down the door he would. He wanted answers. He kept staring at Tomoko, unrelenting in their gaze. He stared so long and hard that white orbs began to cloud his vision.

Tomoko, tired and worn out, sighed in defeat. "Fine." Tomoko turned and opened the door for him, waiting for him. He took no time to be surprised and entered the space without modesty. She closed the door and sat on her bed.

Kira began, "Why are you captain of the Squad 3?"

"Because Yamamoto felt I would better suit Squad 3's fighting styles."

"That's a lie," the words slithered from his mouth like a hiss. His fist clenched his pant leg.

"That's what I was told." She folded her hands together and waited until the intruder was done interrogating her. She looked to the floor in what looked like shame.

"I'm not stupid. Tell me the truth. If they were really going to assign a captain, then you should've gone to Squad 5. They don't even have a lieutenant."

She stayed silent, but Kira continued in anger. "What kind of zanpakuto do you have?"

Tomoko silently cursed him. "It's a fire zanpakuto." She felt the weight of her zanpakuto on her hip, and heard it's cries as she revealed it's identity.

"What relation do you have with Gin Ichimaru?"

Tomoko's eyes widened and she then glared at him. "How dare you ask me that." Her voice was a whisper.

Kira ignored this icy retort. His frigid expression unveiled his distrust. "Why didn't Captain Ukitake know your name when you were nominated as a captain? He should of known you at least. You must have somebody bigger pulling the strings." He paused, shooting daggers at her with his eyes.

"Lieutenant Kira-"

"Don't call me that! I don't even know you, and yet you say my name as if you're already so established. For all I know," he snarled, "you just may be another traitor." She looked up at him. He would've growled another insult, but saw a deep hopelessness in her eyes. He turned his head away in disgust.

In that moment, he finally realized his surroundings. The only things in the room were a bed and a nightstand with two, neatly folded, uniforms on it. Behind him, a door leading to the bathroom, and a single window with thin wood blinds across from the door he entered in. The surroundings closed in on him. He looked at her now, caught by her severe glare. His business in her life was none of his, and now he could feel he had over stepped his boundaries more than he had thought.

"Leave. Lieutenant." Tomoko had snapped. This action against her, became too much for her to handle.

Kira, having some pride in himself, tried and put up a façade of anger. But his determination was broken. Alienating his anger to her, making her feel unwelcome and outcast, he hadn't realized how obsessed he had become.

She quickly stood up and she gave him a dirty look. Composing herself, she turned away from him and opened the door. "Leave, now." She held an ashamed look on her face.

Kira quickly left. Not willing to turn back to look at his new captain. He was embarrassed and upon entering his room, Kira felt a pang of guilt. His own room was much fuller than his own captain's. Photos of his graduating class at the academy, cards from Rukia and Renji for becoming lieutenant, even a set of books he had gained from Captain Unohana while he was in Squad 4. Was there something she was hiding? Her own background? Questions began to flood his mind.

With these new thoughts, he was prompted to take a bath.

***Present***

"Captain…" Kira murmured, his face heating from her contact. "We aren't allowed to do this." He tried to take her hand off his member, but shuddered as she began to slide her hand down his length.

"I'm doing this for you though." She bit into his shoulder. In reply he hissed in pain, and looked at her with searching eyes. She looked up and pouted, kissing the bite mark. "This is what you want isn't it?" She came closer to him, never letting her gaze waver from his, and kept her lips open slightly to catch his lips. His mouth moved forward to catch her plump lips.

"Lieutenant Izuru."

Kira opened his eyes.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant, but you're going to have to leave. We've sort of been assigned to clean the bath house."

Kira looked stunned at the shinigami. "What time is it Isu?"

"It's barely six o'clock Lieutenant. We're supposed to have this place clean before eight o'clock though." Isu turned around. "We'll clean the other areas while you get yourself clothed. Don't forget to drain the bath water." Isu walked away, attempting to save his lieutenant any unnecessary embarrassment.

Kira stood, shivering at the cold air. The water he had slept in had gone cold and he looked for signs of his captain. The water dripped from him and he was covered with wet ridges from staying in the water for so long. She was just a dream.

Kira got clothed, took Wabisuke, and left the bath house. He couldn't believe it. Having such a real dream with his captain was leagues away from what he was thinking. He did admit that she was the last thing he was thinking about though. He just didn't figure he would dream so vividly about having…relations with her. Interrupted relations that is. Kira then realized with some bland humor to himself. Interrupted, _dream _relations with his captain.

He wondered how he would face his captain. Inside his room, he changed to fresh uniform, and got himself mentally prepared to look his captain straight in the eye. It wasn't like he hadn't had dreams about Rangiku before. Except of course, Rangiku was like that in real life too. Those dreams about Rangiku had soon become nightmares, his subconscious always worrying about how she would turn it against him if he were to take advantage of a drunk Rangiku. With his captain though, it was surely different. She was a complete stranger in a sense. Yet, he had felt such a pull towards her as to dream about her. He released a sigh to himself. He couldn't understand why he was so unfortunate.

Kira headed towards the captain's office. The Squad 3 barracks were beginning to bustle with some life and he was greeted by a few shinigami. He noticed the gates were open and concluded his captain was already awake. He took a breath in and walked in front of the doors to the office. He opened them and stood there for a second.

Tomoko hadn't slept well on the floor. She yawned as she tried to read the paper in front of her. Something about training in sections, she reminded herself as she skimmed it over.

After debating with herself last night, she chose to give Kira another chance. She wouldn't want to take her chances without him otherwise. "Good morning Lieutenant Izuru." She looked up expectantly.

Kira began to blush as the images of her bare body flashed in his mind. He practically ran to his seat, shoving papers into his face to keep the images from bothering him. "Good morning Captain Matsuyama!" He came off too enthusiastic and both of them noticed.

"Lieutenant Kira," she tried to sound gentle, "I'm sorry if I seem untrustworthy. I'm just.." she paused to look for the best words.

This is the same message she used last night, he realized with some shock. He began to wonder if it was really a dream. A dream with her naked and initiating some sexual fantasy? He blushed crimson and focused on her words.

Tomoko smiled at him. Kira was cute when he blushed, she thought.

"I'm just trying to find a reason for my soul."


	6. Chapter 5: Cherished

Chapter 5 Cherished

Kira's brow furrowed, lowering his papers from his face to look at her. "What do you mean by that Captain?"

"Exactly what I said." Tomoko revealed a small smile to her lieutenant. He returned the gesture with a troubled look as he set down the paper and hesitantly began some paperwork.

Kira didn't want to push his luck with asking her more. His nervousness around her didn't dissipate as he thought it would when knew she wasn't mad about last night. He wouldn't tell a single soul about his dream either. Maybe if he came to terms and accepted that it was a hot dream about the captain he felt so against from the beginning, he would tell Renji. Only after though. He could barely look at his captain without getting an image of her bare and seductive. In a steaming hot bath. With him. And… He had to scratch out the last few words he had wrote on the search party report. He definitely did not want to leave his thoughts in writing today.

Luckily, Tomoko had no idea about Kira's dream about her, or how much he thought about it in her presence. The daylight filtered into the room and Tomoko relaxed into the motion of paperwork. What made her some-what happy was that she found some hope that she could make a friend out of Kira. He didn't appear more suspicious of her this morning and she was thankful that he didn't give her a cold shoulder today. She smiled at herself some more. The days can only get better as they went on.

***A Month Prior***

Tomoko was on her off day from Squad 13. She had felt that it was only right to visit the old woman that had taken her in when she had no where else to go. She walked through the slums of district 13. Even though district 13 was filled with the bustling city life, if a stranger were to become so lost to come upon the outskirts of the city, they would wonder if they were in the same place. By getting lost, Tomoko had found some refuge.

The slums had dusty dirt roads and whatever trees there were they had been picked of their fruit already or used as make shift clothes lines. The houses were patchwork projects that seemed had many temporary solutions, considering the amount of money that trickled in was scarce for the inhabitants. A woman walked by Tomoko. She only took a quick glance at the shinigami, smiling warily as she bowed her respect, and hurried away.

Tomoko turned to the direction of the woman. Keeping her legs tight together, she bowed low. She felt indebted to this woman. A stranger of course, and if Tomoko had to recall her face tomorrow, she wouldn't remember. But at this moment she bowed to the woman, and rose to look at her shrinking figure in the distance.

Most likely a mother of two, Tomoko thought making her way to visit her guardian. Hurrying so not to be tardy to her job as a tea house server. The mother would be harassed on occasion, but never too much to stray away from the good pay she works for. Tomoko continued with her thoughts with some realism. Her husband must already in the field working as a farm hand since early morning. His hands must be so rough and like leather. His skin already aging beyond his years of back-breaking work. Both of them securing their youngest child to the older sibling. The older sibling would also have to work, but only paid under the table at the club. This being only when the mother and father were back to take care of the smaller child. It must be for that child they are working for, Tomoko thought as she allowed her own spun story to influence her. Their reason to keep working hard would be a small toddler, whose smile every morning and night as they depart, brought them to want to give more than they would ever have. It's all for love.

Tomoko went down stone stairs to another part of the slums. She looked at the surrounding foliage of the straight pathway. The trees were tied with a small white ribbons. A couple untouched gold coins hung from a branch close to a house Tomoko remembered in her childhood. The people in this district, or even any that were so corrupted with violence and blood shed, would never touch that gold. Living poor didn't mean that they had poor morals. They could all respect that the gold was the saved up sum of a hard lifetime. Even beggars and thieves didn't entertain the thought of swiping the gold. If it wasn't their morals, then it was the fear of becoming haunted.

Slowly, she headed towards the house. The walls had holes that were covered with folded bed sheets as make shift blinds, though she noticed that they had been abused by hungry moths; the roof was covered in scattered planks, revealing the damage that had been made by harsh weather of past summer rains; and she saw some small, broken toys lying in the door way as if the child were only gone for a second. Then, when that child would come back after slurping up whatever broth was made yesterday and made as a midday meal today, she would come back and give those toys lives of their own. Tomoko smiled as she stooped down to hold a cracked top and felt it in her hands. She placed it down gently on the dirt and continued walking. This was home.

She entered the house while the wood of the door creaked from the lack of use. "I'm home!" she said to the house, hoping that somewhere, her adoptive mother heard. She looked at the ragged sandals that had been placed together. A smile slipped from the barrier to she had built so high against moments like these. She took her shoes off, ignoring the dust that would accumulate and dirty her feet. She had no problem going into the home barefoot. It was how her life was, and she was happy to be home. The space in the house was small, and there were only two rooms. One straight ahead of her was a bedroom, and the one to her left as she stood in the hallway was the kitchen. Though really, it was just another room. The only thing that had made it a kitchen was an empty bucket for water and a small stove. They had a two pots and three cups and bowls. This meant kitchen in their eyes.

"Nana, I'm going to the kitchen and I'm going to make something for us to eat." She went into the kitchen and took the beef broth and carrots out of her pouch. She gathered water and washed the old pot before she lit the stove in the middle of the room. This brings back some memories, Tomoko thought as she gazed into the fire. How many winters had the two shared surrounding this fire? Tomoko had entertained herself in trying to answer until she heard the quiet boiling of the broth. She poured the contents into two bowls and carried it to the room with up-most caution in not spilling a single drop. She used her shoulder to slowly swing open the thin door.

The original sliding door was too expensive to fix and it was gladly thrown out by the older woman one summer. Tomoko found out only later that it was because of her arrival that the woman she called Nana threw what last remains of the house her husband built. "No need to remember what I can't bring back," Nana had answered with a smile. "I have you anyway, right Moko?"

Tomoko slipped into the room and set the steaming bowl in front of her and Nana. She set the bowls down and kneeled in respect to her adoptive mother. She looked into her deep brown eyes and barely recognized her.

She closed her eyes, and felt her nose burn, attempting to breathe became harder than she could imagine. She opened them and stared at the aging photograph of her adoptive mother. She pushed the bowl towards the picture and said with a bowed head, tears dripping from her face. "I'm sorry I haven't come in such a long time Nana." She found herself glaring hard at the shinigami uniform she wore. "I'm so sorry for everything. I didn't know-" Tomoko began to cry harder, the tears fell into her broth, but she pushed it away from her and set both bowls to her late caretaker. If only she could eat both bowls now. Two bowls Nana, she thought, I'm not even hungry tonight.

She quietly sobbed, kneeling to the ground, her hand barely cupping the second bowl she had offered. "I didn't know that-" Tomoko tried to catch her breath, but ended up lost in her crying. She cried until the broth had gone cold and the day was already gone and replaced by the new night. She looked at the photograph and smiled with pure appreciation. Her eyes were slightly swollen and very red, but there was no way to escape the images that had lit through her heart of that kind woman.

"Thank you, Nana." She took the cold bowl to her lips. Sniffling, she drank her broth, chewing on the soft carrots. She never liked carrots, but Nana did. For her, she ate the orange vegetable with tears in her eyes. She drank the second bowl, knowing it would go bad and go to waste if she didn't drink it. Tears and broth mixed together, dripping from her chin to her dark shinigami uniform.

Nana had taught that girl well, and what life she had left, was embedded in Tomoko. Every bowl of broth, every small piece of meat they acquired, and handful of rice they had ever shared, came from the work that the single woman had done. Tomoko was just another wandering child, lost and abandoned. Yet, a poor widow took her in one night as she had accidentally made an extra bowl for her late husband. The rest was history.

Going back to the Squad 13 barracks, Tomoko realized that she had left her zanpakuto in her kitchen while she had begun cleaning the bowls. Not too far away from the house, she chose to shunpo.

Little did she know, -in which case, I want to indicate that I, in a very disruptive fashion and tasteless humor as the author, _do _know- that some one was in her old home.

Tomoko entered the house quickly. She almost went into the kitchen, but slid back from the hallway to take off her shoes in respect. Before she could turn around, she heard an unsettling sound behind her. Fear shot through her spine and she froze.

"I knew you'd be back, Tomoko-san."

***Present***

"Hey Kira," Renji came up to Kira, and put his hand down on the other's shoulder. "How's the new captain?" Renji looked at Kira inquisitively, but noticed with some amusement that Kira was blushing. "Oi, Kira, do you perhaps…" He trailed off as he began to raise his eyebrows in expectation.

"No Renji. I don't." Kira kept his eyes straight on the squad members. Tomoko and Kira were out on their new biweekly squad training sessions. Gin never had done this with his subordinates, and when it did happen once, it was in the middle of the night under the false pretenses that there was a hollow roaming around Squad 3 barracks. It took a month for Kira to convince the others that he had no part of the event, even being the lieutenant he had no idea.

"Ah, I see." Renji didn't really believe it, but he could see it was still a tender subject for Kira. He thought to ask him another time, when he was less sober of course. He scanned for the new captain and saw her red bow. "Huh. That's her, huh?" He pointed at her until Kira nodded, and folded his arms. His eyes began to linger on her, noticing her face as she spoke to the lower ranked shinigami.

Tomoko was helping her 32nd seat with a straight on strike. She had noticed that while sparring, he had used mostly side ways strikes. She had stopped that spar and told the opponent to take a rest until she could understand his movements better.

"The momentum would be powerful, but it's slow to swing it side ways." She held his zanpakuto, dangling it down and slightly swinging it. "It feels like a pendulum. All the weight may be concentrated at the tip, but you shouldn't accommodate your fighting style so much for it. You need to work with your zanpakuto. Try going up then strike down. If you have to, you can strike down at an angle. Okay?" Tomoko looked at the attentive 32nd and smiled as he nodded, catching him off guard by the kindness in her smile.

To him, it definitely trumped Captain Ukitake's accidental smile at him. The 32nd seat had no chance to be saved as the Squad 13 captain quickly apologized and said he was waiting for someone else. Heart broken, he had delivered the message he was sent for and walked back to the Squad 3 barracks. That day, he questioned when he was ever going to get some captain recognition. Sighing, he had finally caught the attention of his own captain. Gin wasn't the attention the 32nd seat wanted, and Gin knew it. That had been the worst day in the 32nd seat's service under Gin Ichimaru.

Tomoko looked at the her 32nd seat and watched as a sequence of emotions passed througfh his face. Then a fire flared into his eyes and he looked determined. "Captain Matsuyama, I'll surely learn to handle with my zanpakuto! No matter what, I will learn how to protect my squad members! Your wisdom is rain on the drought of this squad!" He bowed deeply, ecstatic that she wasn't at all like Gin Ichimaru. "I am forever indebted to you!" He spoke with such seriousness that Tomoko was especially caught off guard.

Kira and Renji looked on, along with all the nearby shinigami halting their fights to watch.

"Stop bowing. Kazuki-san." Tomoko gave the 32nd seat a cold look and began to grind her teeth.

Everyone's eyes were on the new captain, and Renji began to get a suspicious feeling from her tense look. But he relaxed, noticing the tint in pink on her cheeks. How cute, he realized smiling.

"Oh," Kazuki looked embarrassed, but deep down, he was even more happy. He had made a captain, a pretty and shy captain, blush. "I'll continue my sparring match now Captain Matsuyama, thank you for your advice." He gave a quick nod with a serious expression, but inside he was jumping up and striking poses of victory.

Tomoko attempted to pull a Toshiro or a Byakuya if she wanted to attempt a higher level stern look, but to no avail. She wore a small smile, glad for his understanding and nodded her approval. She began to walk back to Kira with her head down in shame.

Renji and Kira watched as the captain kept walking towards the shade of the large tree. Renji looked concerned and both of them watched as she continued towards them. Eventually, having her head looking to the ground ended up getting her to bump into Renji. She looked up surprised and even more embarrassed. "I'm sorry!" Her bright eyes revealed a sweet innocence and Renji was mesmerized.

"Yeah, it's," Renji tried hard to catch his thoughts to make sense, "It's fine." He blushed and looked away. She is pretty cute, he thought. Then added as a quick afterthought, but I think Rukia is still cuter if I had to choose.

Tomoko looked up at the red head. "Who are you?" She cocked her head in confusion. I'm pretty sure I've heard one of the captains explain something about a red head and tattoos, she wondered but unintentionally lifted her hand to the tattoo on his brow. The three of them looked stunned as realized her hand traced the tattoo lightly.

"Ah!" Tomoko retracted her hand and a blazing blush began to heat up her face. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that!" She dropped her hand in the other hand in hope that she could rub away the embarrassment it had brought upon her.

Kira watched as Tomoko shied away from his Renji. Renji's face made him glare. If only he wasn't preoccupied with ogling at his new captain that he could see Kira's glare intensity. Then he chose to glare at his captain. She just went around and acted like this? He couldn't believe he had to serve under somebody like that. His eyes became even more intense. Unfortunately, she found him in the act and returned a greater glare.

"What is it Lieutenant Izuru? Is there something wrong?" Tomoko did not enjoy being subject of prejudice. Izuru's glare seemed to resonate the same as the one he did behind her back yesterday, and that just push her a little too far. If he doesn't apologize... she told herself.

Renji watched as Kira was woken from his anger and became surprised. He apologized in his own embarrassment and introduced Renji. He looked at the new captain and he saw her eyes soften.

"Okay Lieutenant Abarai, what is your business here?" She sighed and sat down next to the tree. She didn't want to stay mad at Kira. He appeared to be under so much stress this morning, he had even gone and double checked his paper work, she thought. I don't want him to be scared of me. Just to respect me a little. Then again, she is the one who made a fool of herself and stroked a lieutenant's tattoos. She gave up with the topic and looked expectantly at Renji.

Renji was puzzled by Kira and his new captain. What kind of relationship do they have, Renji wondered. "I'm here just to ask your permission if I could take Lieutenant Izuru to meet up with a couple other lieutenants for the Squad 11 uh…" Renji didn't want to say drinking party, so he looked at Tomoko as if expecting her to know a better word. She raised her eyebrow in question to the red head.

Then, Tomoko looked suspiciously at the two men. They aren't...dating are they? She looked at both men and thought about it some more until Kira interrupted her thoughts.

"I'm going to a drinking party with Renji, Shuuhei, and whoever else will be there tonight, Captain Matsuyama."

Renji looked astounded by the blunt answer that Kira gave his captain. Did he not respect her to ask permission? He watched as the two stared at the other. Tomoko looked stern. But what had surprised Renji most was that Kira wasn't backing down. His face was set in a serious gaze.

"Not even going to ask me? You're just going to go when your shift is over? How are you going to get in if you come back too late?" Tomoko wondered about Kira's resolve, it had made him do stupider stuff. Like interrogate his own captain in her quarters. But would something like this daunt him?

"Yes and I will leave right when my shift is over. If I can't get back, then Captain Kyoraku will let me rest in the Squad 8 barracks." Kira was staying adamant. He was going to go out. Not only because he didn't like the fact that Renji wanted to get permission for his own life outside the barracks, but just to get away from his captain. He didn't want to slip up while walking with her. He wasn't planning to walk her home, but the way to his room was on the same route. No chances to mess up. Though he may be messing up bad right now.

"Fine." Tomoko turned to watch her subordinates spar. She watched Kasuki's spar and noticed he had taken her advice to heart. He looked better and she smiled for it. Maybe he has more potential than he even thought.

Renji looked at Kira with an expression to show how unbelievable they both were. She just let that slip? Renji was so confused. "Kira can I talk to you for a second?" Renji regained a business-like look and excused himself and Kira of Tomoko's presence. He had to drag the stunned Kira away. "What the hell was that? She just lets you talk to her like that?" Renji had brought him around the corner where Tomoko couldn't hear or see them.

Kira sighed, and his head began to hurt. Putting his hand on his hand to ease the pain, he looked to Renji and said blandly, "We'll talk about this later tonight." Kira walked away, having a headache and being irritated by Renji.

Renji frowned and observed the way Kira almost hurried to the his new captain's side. Now, that's something I want to talk about. He turned on his heel and headed towards Squad 6. Why couldn't Byakuya be like that? He sighed to himself.

Tomoko looked at Kira and then had a great idea. I'm the only one to be able to open and close the gates, so maybe… I should go too. Her face brightened up as Kira plopped down beside her looking as if he was going to burst from too much pressure. Ah, she pondered happily, good plan indeed!

* * *

**YiKyung: Wah~ I had so much trouble putting this chapter out. It had two rough drafts before and then got this one! I hope you enjoyed this. I worked hard in passing the 3000 word mark, just because I like knowing I can -turns out, it's 3,939 words... The worst part about writing this chapter was during the middle, I was listening to a couple songs of a sad ost songs and kind of got caught up in it all. Thanks for gritting your teeth and baring with me. **

**I hope I've left you enough to hunger for. I'll be working on the next chapter for sure.**

_Geuss: Thank you for being my very first review! I really appreciate it and am glad you're loving the story. I'll be sure to keep you in mind when writing. I wouldn't say it was sheer brilliance though, it was more like, clever thinking when you're already so far in. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint._

**Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo. That's great, but I cannot wait until I can read the next chapter after it's translated.**


	7. Chapter 6: Talking Drunk

Chapter 6 Talking Drunk

Kira had been good to his word. He had left the barracks right when his shift had ended. Now he was sitting next to a very drunk Matsumoto, across from Shuuhei who was verging on Matsumoto's level, and Renji who had just arrived.

Renji looks tired, Kira thought watching him sit down and gulp down a glass of the tame alcohol. Shuuhei stole a drunk glance towards Renji and thought he could help ail his friend's fatigue.

"Renji! You look like you need a drink." Shuuhei smiled as Renji sat down.

Renji looked at him in annoyed disbelief. "Yeah, I do. That's why I'm here you idiot." He shot Shuuhei an irritated look, but it had no effect.

"You need some of my drink. I'd give you some, but I drank most of it…" Shuuhei looked down at his cup, swirling the small remainder alcohol at the bottom. "My drink is the besst!" Shuuhei hissed his last word and pressed the empty cup to Renji's face.

"Shuuhei," Kira began, "I have the same drink as you." Kira looked at Shuuhei and bit back a sharp response on how Shuuhei had been the one who had only a day ago told him to wake up.

"But I got mine from Rangiiku!" Shuuhei retorted defiantly. He looked at her sleeping figure dreamily and leaned closer to Renji. "She's so nice!" he sighed, relaxing more into Renji which was increasing his irritation.

Kira looked confounded. "She served you the drink Shuuhei. We are the ones who had to buy it!" Kira watched as Shuuhei was completely oblivious to him.

Renji almost got drunk from Shuuhei's breath. "I think she likes me!" Shuuhei shouted, grinning satisfied as he sipped his drink. He leaned more on Renji's shoulder, looking up at him with a not-so-secret joy at the thought of Rangiku liking him.

Shuuhei, to both Renji and Kira's knowledge, was never a subtle drunk. Renji raised an eyebrow to the man and then began facing him to reveal his glare. Renji became more displeased by the fact that Shuuhei was also not a mindful drunk. So, seeing his friend was not saying anything encouraging, Shuuhei looked at Matsumoto with the earnest look of a puppy.

Kira was beginning to feel like he was invisible and looked to Rangiku, who was wiping off some of the crumbs from whatever she had gobbled up prior to her nap and already restarted on her drinking. Typical Matsumoto, Kira thought, she invites all of us and figures we're going to carry her to Squad 10 barracks. Kira wouldn't admit that if it did come to taking her to the Squad 10 captain office or leaving her in the tavern for the wolves, he would choose the former.

"I got to go bathroom!" Matsumoto shot up from her seat, oblivious of Shuuhei's comment. She drank the rest of her cup and let out a satisfied gasp as the drink burned her throat. She slid over Kira, much to Kira's discomfort, and then made her way across the room towards the ladies room. She wavered for a moment. Where is the bathroom, she wondered. It was beginning to hurt her head to try and map out the tavern. She thought so hard, she bumped into a bar stool and had to catch hold of it for support.

"She's so agile." Shuuhei had watched Rangiku stumble around the tavern like a lazy bear. He slouched in the booth seat and hung his head a little to the side letting his cup tip dangerously from his hand. Shuuhei looked at the lighting fixture and wondered to himself when he became so lucky.

"Yeah, sure she is." Renji was pouring himself a drink and looked to Kira. Renji began to speculate how drunk Kira was. Not too bad I would imagine, he concluded. Renji examined the man across from him and brought the cup up to his lips. "So Kira, was your captain mad after I left?" He took a drink slowly, keeping his eyes on Kira. May as well attack the subject face on, Renji reasoned. He wasn't much to try and go around a subject, it took too much time and often ended up confusing himself in the process.

"Fine." Kira drank from his own glass and the two men, aside from Shuuhei who was day dreaming, shared a moment of awkward silence.

"I was just thinking, that maybe you should be a little more, I don't know, nicer." Renji relaxed and settled into his seat. "She doesn't seem bad as…" He was going to say Gin, but he was getting to know that it was a trigger word for Kira.

"Yeah. Okay." Kira's headache was coming back and he just wanted to kill the topic. He wanted to kill the subject as much as he wanted to kill his former captain.

"What has she done wrong to you anyway? Give her the benefit of a doubt. She may even save your life soon." Renji regretted his choice of words as he watched Kira's composure fall apart.

"Save my life _soon_?" Kira, encouraged by the booze and pain of his headache, was beginning to lose his reasoning. "Are you trying to say something Renji?" he hissed. He was already questioning his own captain, but now his friend was in question.

"You're being paranoid. Loosen up, man." Shuuhei was still watching the light fixture. He was listening to their conversation in intervals between his daydream of successful confession to Matsumoto. He smiled slightly at Kira, surprising Kira with how sober it appeared, and looked back at the fixture.

"He's right," Renji added almost in disbelief drunk Shuuhei saved him from Kira. "I'm just saying there isn't really any way for you to look past it. You two have to work together. You wouldn't believe how many times I've wanted to attack my captain, but I get over it. So stop being stupid." He looked at his friend hoping he would see the sincerity.

"Oh shut up Renji, you just don't want to hurt Rukia's brother. Wouldn't want to ruin your chances huh?" Kira said aloud. Oh shit he heard that, Kira realized cursing himself for being so lax when intoxicated.

The men waited, and Kira's dulled senses hadn't seen the slight glimmer of pain that shot through Renji's face. "Yeah, well at least I will admit it." Renji kept his composure, appearing to be the better man. But that comment stabbed him in a very sensitive spot in his heart. He wasn't going to let Kira have what he wanted from that comment.

"Hey look man, I'm sorry. I'm drunk, and I have headache. I'm even worried that Rangiku-"

"Rangiku?" Shuuhei looked alert searching the perimeter of the booth for the busty shinigami. He slumped back after he found it was just a false alarm.

Kira and Renji rolled their eyes. Kira continued, "She may of slipped in the bathroom again and I don't even have enough energy to really deal with her today. Plus," Kira went on, "the new captain. She seems great. More than that, almost perfect for what the squad needs. And yet, I just can't shake the feeling that there is something she's hiding. I mean, her room is nothing!" He motioned his hands as an exaggeration of the word. "Nothing! Nothing is in there, and I think it's a clue that maybe she-"

Renji interrupted, finding Kira's assessment weird. "Wait," Renji said, looking as Kira stopped to listen. "You've gone into her room?" Inside, Renji was beginning to get suspicious of some sort of relation between Kira and his captain. The way he was blushing earlier that day came across as some evidence.

"Well, yeah. Sort of…" Kira trailed off, now feeling the heat in his cheeks. He wasn't ready to spill more onto the topic. "It's not what you think." He felt he was losing this argument as he drank his alcohol to shut himself up.

Renji was now in an interesting position. His first choice was to ask Kira questions and go on from the small pieces of information that he would receive. The second choice was that he could get Kira unbelievably drunk, get a lot of what Kira didn't want to say while he was sober, but risk the chance he may be too drunk into the night to remember any of it in the morning. Renji sighed, refilling his drink. He smiled slyly at Kira and Kira looked with caution.

"What are you smiling about?" Kira asked. He wasn't too sure what Renji could be smiling about, but he could feel it was closing in on him.

Renji motioned his glass to a spot near the entrance of the tavern. He grinned more as Kira's eyes widened in fear. "Looks like we got some company." He sipped his alcohol and he realized something. This is a good drink.


	8. Chapter 7: Goodnight Nimbus

Chapter 7 Goodnight Nimbus

Expecting Tomoko to be right behind him it was surprising to see Jushiro. 'Renji,' Kira thought, 'that asshole scaring me for no reason!' A smug smirk spread across Renji's face as Kira's face held a glare.

"Hey Izuru," Jushiro patted Kira on the shoulder in a friendly gesture. "Matsuyama is your captain now isn't she?" Jushiro smiled but Kira sighed.

'I can't be mad at Jushiro,' he told himself. But he knew he had some right to be mad at Renji. He turned to Jushiro and was met with a uneasy expression on his face.

"Yeah," he answered, softening his demeanor to the kind captain. "She's my captain now."

Jushiro's face brightened. "Ah, that's great. Can I ask you a favor Izuru?" He smiled some more, disarming Kira of his ability to say no.

"If you want me to, sure." Kira was ready to leave. Just a few drinks and he wasn't in such a shape to really tussle with the drunker crowd.

"Could you escort me to my squad barracks? I know you have some healing skills and I drank a little tonight because of Shunsui. I just want to make sure I don't have too bad of an episode tonight." He scratched the back of his head out of habit when he felt like he was asking for a big favor.

"Oh, of course that won't be too bad." Kira nodded and returned a small smile to assure Jushiro that it would be okay. "Let's go shall we?" Kira stood up and nodded a goodbye to Renji and Shuuhei. They left the tavern into the brisk night.

Renji watched and looked to Shuuhei. "So, what's up with you?" He raised his eyebrow in anticipation.

"Do you think light feels anything?" Shuuhei said, drowsily.

"What?"

"Light…" Shuuhei paused, searching for the right definition. "You know, light." Shuhhei looked at Renji with a face that told Renji he was stupid if he didn't know.

Renji replied with his own, trying to communicate that saying the word as it's definition was not enough to say what it is. He gave in, saying, "Sure."

"Well, if a light is turned off, do you think it would be scary?" Shuuhei looked back at the fixture. He fixated his eyes solemnly and pensive.

'For a drunk guy, he sure puts on a good face.' Renji took another sip and looked to the fixture himself, not really processing the question. It took him a second to understand what he meant, but Renji once he did, he looked at Shuuhei annoyed. "You asking me if I'm scared of the dark?"

"Isn't everyone?"

***In the Squad 11 Area***

Tomoko was trying to make up for being late by walking faster. Her jinzen session had gone a little longer than she anticipated but she was ready to go see Kira. If she was being honest to herself, she just wanted to give him another chance. She wanted to give their relationship a fresh start.

Tomoko saw a couple of women. A couple of very nice looking women, walk into the tavern. She stopped. The words popped into her head. Drinking _party_. _Party_. She looked herself over. She had left the captain's haori in her room feeling she didn't want to get it dirty. But now, it may have been a piece of clothing that she would've risked. Just because she didn't want to appear a wall flower. 'Maybe, it's not the right time for him to see me,' she reasoned. Still she walked towards the tavern, now in plain sight.

She looked at the front of the tavern and stood before the door. She did what she thought was the best plan of action, she hid. She leaned against the shadowed wall of the tavern, away from the windows and the entrance. She began to realize, she shouldn't of come. Her zanpakuto was in her room also, and when she attempted to hold the hilt in comfort, she found another reason to find disappointment. She sighed. The warmth of the tavern was forgotten as she felt alone in the alley of the tavern.

"Hey, Captain Matsuyama, is that you?" Renji caught sight of the shadowed figure and had recognized Tomoko by the red ribbon in her hair. She stood up straight in reply to her discovery and stepped forward in the moonlight. Renji blinked as he saw the moonlight illuminate her features. Her blue eyes shot through him with such clarity. He was dumbfounded.

'It's Renji,' she realized. "Oh, hello Lieutenant Abarai. Is Lieutenant Izuru with you by chance?" She looked at him and her lips parted slightly from her words.

Renji, who was intoxicated just enough to lose handle on his focus, looked at those lips and wondered something to himself. He saw her face change into confusion.

"Lieutenant Abarai?"

Renji woke up from his train of thought and smiled at the captain. "He was." He stopped and looked to the other direction of the road for signs of the two. "But he's heading to the Squad 13 barracks escorting Captain Ukitake." He looked back at Tomoko, and saw her profile as she looked at the direction he was just scanning. Her eyes met his with a jolt of alertness. Renji was sure she could tell he was drunk, but he wanted to try and cover that up best he could.

"Oh, I see." Tomoko kept searching for some signs of a lie in Renji's face, but found none. Clasping her hands over the other, she took some comfort in the habit. "Is he coming back soon?"

Renji looked at her small figure and gave her a warm smile. "No, I don't think so. But, you know, I'm not really in the mood to call it a night. So if you'll let me, I can escort you to your quarters." He added slyly, "Captain Matsuyama." His drinking had made him more courageous. Against his better judgment, he felt that it was a good idea. He wanted to make up for his friend being rude to her. She didn't seem bad at all, and she looked like she needed a friend.

Tomoko retracted her eyes from Renji's face letting her sight drop towards the ground. "Captain Abarai," she began after a pause. Her whole body began to become stiff with stress.

"Call me Renji. It's after hours anyway." He gestured to the road, adding in a bigger smile to soothe her.

The words began to slip from her lips in curt phrases. "I'm going to reject that offer. I'm sorry. Goodnight, Lieutenant Abarai." She looked him with distant eyes. With that, she made her way towards the direction she came, never looking back.

Renji looked in her direction for an answer. "The hell?" he murmured. He was confused by her. He questioned if she was that cold earlier that day, but couldn't focus hard enough to remember. At last, he sighed. "What do I do now?"

***Later That Night***

Kira's chest heaved in the air with a slow rhythm and he gazed at his ceiling. His gut feeling told him not to trust Tomoko. But, after what everyone else was saying to him, he began to question himself. Again. 'When am I going to stop questioning myself,' he asked himself.

The alcohol was slowly making him drowsy. It seeped into his system in small intervals as he tried so hard to kept a sober conversation with Jushiro earlier. Walking back home was rough, and he could sense the fatigue set in completely.

He laid his head to the side and closed his eyes. Soon he fell asleep, with his last thought lingering over Gin Ichimaru. The words that were supposed to be trapped in his mind unconsciously slipped through his mouth.

The words traveled out the open window into her ears.

Tomoko was seated underneath Kira's window, her legs curled into her chest. She was troubled, and found herself sitting under Kira's window only by accident. Once she heard his voice, she took a quick peek to see his sleeping figure. Sitting back down, she laughed not believing that she had wound herself right under her lieutenant's window.

She played with the grass near the wall and uprooted some, breaking the blades from their roots. "So that's it. Is it Kira?" she murmured her thought out loud to the empty air.

She looked up at the stars, watching a lone, sullen-looking cloud glide through the night sky. It began to contort and dissipate with the wind. The stars and moon watched the slow dancing cloud, while Tomoko watched as her eyes began to glaze with sorrow.

'Why can't you trust me Kira?' Tomoko let her body lay over on her side and began to relax. The grass brushed against her cheek as she breathed in the scent of soil. 'I'm just a friend. Tell me what's wrong Kira.' She lulled the last words, waiting for a reply. But none came.

Eventually, she got up and went home. The midnight air welcomed her when she entered her room. She curled up into the bed sheets and lifted the blanket to her chin. Sleep had claimed another one.


	9. Chapter 8: Flaw

Chapter 8 Flaw

The lines began to blur. Kira couldn't feel himself breathing. He couldn't feel the wind that made the white haori float so magnificently. He couldn't understand why the silver haired man stood in front of him leading him through the endless plateau of white sand. Everything was numb.

"Captain Ichimaru…" Kira's lips spoke softly, but he knew Gin had heard.

Gin stopped, and everything seemed to stop in motion with him. The squad insignia of his haori seemed to glow with the contrast of the white scenery. The hills of pale sand and the pitch black sky became the backdrop for Gin's figure. Slowly, eerily, Gin turned to face Kira. The notorious grin was plastered on his face. "You would think the games would end once I left."

Kira saw as the insignia begin to infest the scenery. Symbols made of black sand, became sleek glass tiles. Kira saw himself standing on a flat, glass surface in the middle of a blank nothing. Gleams from an unknown source graced the glass, revealing their brilliance. Kira's lips never moved, but he knew he had asked a question.

"Sand to glass. Glass to sand again."

Kira was confused. 'What?'

"Which do you think would gleam more brilliantly? Glass of course. So why would you ruin such a thing Kira? Hmm?" Gin looked to Kira, but then sighed disappointed when no answer came from the lieutenant. "You just never learn." Frowning, Gin turned, walking away. Kira stood where he was.

Kira could feel the betraying grin though. Even as the scenery broke into a million pieces, he stood an watched Gin's fading image. The back of Gin's haori was pure white. Kira knew there was no inkling of regret in the figure in front of him.

Kira was falling in the darkness.

The invisible stairs Gin went up were becoming farther and farther. 'There isn't anything worth fighting for there captain…why are you leaving your…' Kira was pulled farther in the darkness.

Then the darkness swallowed him up.

In his mind, he was silent. In his heart, he was gone. In the darkness, he felt whole.

The darkness was embracing. He knew things would be better if he stayed in this dark, behind the gossamer layer of glass. He was afraid. Afraid of what he might see next.

The glass appeared to mirror what was outside, but Kira knew something. 'Something in the seams.' There was something slowly slipping inside the encasement. He just didn't know if it was friend or foe.

Kira awoke slowly. Groggily, he tossed and turned. Flipped his pillow to be met with the cooler side against his cheek. Loosing sight of the darkness, he finally gave up and opened his eyes fully. It was dawn, but the room appeared like it had been covered in a light shade of blue that peeked from his window. 'What…was that dream again?' Kira tried to go back to sleep. The dream was lost in his subconscious as he slept soundly to the sound of daylight clearing away the remnants of night.

***Later that day***

Kira leaned back into his chair, intertwining his fingers behind his head. He took a quick glance at Tomoko with a troubled look on her face.

Tomoko quickly looked up and saw the fading sunlight stain Kira's uniform. Her eyes brightened a little. She looked back down, trying to avoid looking at him. Her eyes resumed to look at the blank page as she reached for her pen.

Kira had slept well last night. It was the best sleep he had recently. But he felt it took something from him that he couldn't quite name. Like some burden was lifted from his hands and replaced with something else.

Kira leaned forward flipping through the pages of his paper work, thinking about what next to do. The day had been going smoothly. Nothing seemed to be tense today between them, just some stale familiarity as the day went on.

'There must be something I'm missing.' Kira looked to his captain and watched with some confusion as she folded the paper she had before, in half, and then again in half, slipping it into the trash bin. "What was wrong with that?"

"Nothing Lieutenant Izuru. Just finish your paper work." She gave the answer unintentionally harsher than she intended but let it go. She began getting another piece of paper for herself. Her movements seemed annoyed, agitated with whatever was written on the paper.

"I'm already done." Kira looked at her, kind of confused. 'Something is off with her.'

"That's great Lieutenant, then just leave for today. I have nothing else that needs your attention. Thank you for your hard work." A smile passed her lips and she saw his unaffected face stare at her. Tomoko looked at the blank page in front of her, clicking her pen.

For some reason or another, Kira wanted to know more. Be it the rest he received last night or the troubled look on his new captain's face that made him curious, he was going to have a conversation with her. He shouldn't be reprimanded for just having a conversation with his captain. And technically, he was off duty. "Where did you get that pen from Captain?"

Tomoko's eyes shot up in annoyance, and then realized that Kira was trying to figure her out again. This time, she felt she could be a bit more in control. "Not leaving are you? I would assume you would have better things to do after work." She smirked as if she knew something he didn't. The foreign expression hurt her face.

"Not really."

Tomoko was surprised that he had parried her smirk with his own nonchalant attitude. She was thrown off balance and into an uncomfortable twist.

He opened his mouth to say something, but chose to not. Instead, he twirled his thumbs. Looking down, he began to let his thumbs gently collide as if they were his feet tapping for an apology. He lifted his bland expression to look at his captain expectantly.

Tomoko looked to his thumbs, dropped her smirk, and refrained her lower lip from pouting. 'Why would he be acting so foolhardy today?' The blank page began to pester her for its nakedness. She gave a trouble expression to the page and looked back up to see if Kira was still looking. He was. She looked back down quickly and began to think of how to go about the situation at hand.

"What are you doing?" Kira questioned her posture of course. She was hunched forward to the desk, her face close to the paper. In her left hand, the pen was readily meeting the page.

"Kira please." Tomoko hadn't looked up, intent of letting him know she was going to ignore him. He had lost some points with her because he was now just being annoying in her eyes.

'What is she even trying to do?' Kira raised his hands in defense and raised his eyebrows to gesture that he would no longer bother her about it for the mean time. Inwardly though, he was interested. "Go right on ahead."

She didn't respond as her writing began. Kira looked on with confusion, but never interrupted. She had gotten a half way down the page when she stopped and looked at the spot where he was sitting before. He wasn't there.

He was hovering over her shoulders. Letting out a disbelieving laugh he smiled slightly. "You're kidding me right?"

Now, Tomoko felt a little timid. "No, Lieutenant, I'm not kidding. Please leave now." She turned her face to his, as he was now centimeters away from her face.

He gently skimmed the page with his fingertips, mouthing the words as he read. "What is this blank space?" He looked at her, incredulous that the writing was chicken scratch.

'Ignoring my commands. Fine. I'll ignore your questions.' She looked down and let her anger out by grinding her teeth. "You've never seen bad handwriting before?" She then realized her position and tried to forgive his laughter, but then heard another chuckle from him. She could feel his breath on her cheek, taunting her.

"Oh, I have. It's just… you have really bad, terrible, handwriting. What's up with that?" He knew that it was sort of a dead end question and if she did answer, it would be a smart aleck answer. 'I don't even think she knows that many smart aleck remarks.' Still, Kira waited for an answer as he continued to examine her writing. The curves were sharp and the strokes were short, he was, if anything, impressed by it's terribleness. There was no fluidity in her writing and looking at her, it would be easily misconstrued that she had very nice handwriting. Even more so because she is a girl.

"I don't want to talk about it." Tomoko looked down and slipped her pen into her sleeve, like a retreating snake.

They breathed in and sighed together as they looked at the piece of paper, an atmosphere similar to two parents finding out about their promiscuous child. What next?

"Who was this supposed to go to?"

"Captain Kyoraku."

Kira raised his eyebrow as if he knew she was lying. "You mean Lieutenant Ise?"

"No. It's from Captain Kyouraku, the mission plan even has his signature." Tomoko was confused to what Kira was trying to say.

"Yeah, well if you haven't known, Captain Kyouraku never really does his paper work." Her confused face didn't go away, so he rolled his eyes and dropped the subject of her naiveté.

They shared an uncomfortable silence and Tomoko felt cornered. Not because of what Kira was doing, but because of what he wasn't doing. He wasn't laughing at her now. He wasn't gone. He wasn't giving her the feeling that she was the enemy. All the feelings that he had given her before were no where to be found.

Initially, Tomoko had thought she could handle a rebellious and suspicious lieutenant, but now he seemed like somebody even more alien. 'He's… kind of nice… Have I ever seen him be nice in these past few days?' Tomoko was confused now. Looking at that blank space, she wondered what she had missed from his character. Now that she was getting close to him, she was beginning to become flustered.

Kira was first to speak. "Would you like some help from me?" He watched as Tomoko looked up wide eyed. Her disbelief infected him, and he began to see what he was doing. 'What am I saying?'

"You'd do that?" Tomoko's eyes widened with surprise. She smiled appreciably. "I'll take that offer Lieutenant."

His mind went blank as her eyes looked up to him. It clicked. 'Staying away from her will just make me more paranoid. Acting if she was already on the other side, I'll snap sooner or later. But if I keep her close, then maybe…' He didn't want to be close to the captain. His heart wasn't ready to let her in. She was a stranger and he didn't want to let his logic get in the way of how he felt about her. She was the enemy.

Kira searched her blue eyes for a reason to take back his offer, but found none. "Whenever you're free." He forced a smile for their sake and she glowed with sheepish joy.

'Maybe… He's finally accepting me…' Tomoko looked on as he left the room. His fingers slipped from sight as he closed the door. She had questions of course. Eventually, those questions lead to other, more serious questions. Questions that made her face cold and her eyes listless as she began to twirl the pen in her hand. 'It would seem that Kira is more than I thought he was…' She looked to the engravings of the pen and smiled sadly. 'It used to be so simple.'

* * *

**YiKyung**: Thank you for reading. As you can tell by now I have made some small changes with how I'm writing the story. I've begun to use single apostrophes to let you know when a character is thinking -which I should have done all along, and I know that now. I'm sawwry. I'd also feel bad if I had to re-upload all the chapters just for those changes...unless you want that? Would you like that?

Unfortunately, I know it's going to a rough road to find the best, most comfortable way for me to write this story **and** make it easier for you wonderful readers to not get caught up in my own confusion. I can only thank you for reading my story and hope that you enjoy it. I'm slowly evolving, and I want to say that this story has been on my mind a lot. You are very kind, and I'm appreciate knowing you're reading my little author note. With some SHINee and some Thai tea, I'll be whipping up another chapter.


	10. Chapter 9: The Weather was Too Nice

Chapter 9 The Weather was Too Nice

Kira was conflicted with himself. 'How do I even teach her that? I'm an idiot if I think I can tutor her how to _write _better.' The wind blew slightly as he made his journey to training grounds. It was only minutes ago that he made the offer to train his captain. He walked a little faster. His zanpakuto hit his leg from his stride. 'I just need to blow some steam off. No one is going to be there this time of day.'

He walked to the training grounds. He took the time to wonder what was in store for him the day he opened his door to find his captain. He thought about how she would look or act when he was trying to teach her. Then he realized that he didn't know what he was going to teach her at all.

"Oh hey Lieutenant Izuru!" With a light glisten of sweat on his brow, Isu smiled and waved to his lieutenant. "You going to train now? I was just leaving myself."

Kira blinked. "Yeah," he replied. 'Why do I feel so embarrassed?'

"That's great." Isu walked closer and gave Kira a full grin. "It's encouraging to see you training, just to know that you never stop training to get better really helps the rest of us."

Kira smiled. 'Ah…I remember…he's the one who kicked me out of the tub that day.'

Isu waited and gave a final nod to Kira as a drop of sweat was rolling down his collar bone. "Well, anyway, nice to see you Lieutenant. I'll be going now."

Kira turned and watched the shinigami walk away. "Bye Isu." Kira stood there stunned for a second. 'Have I actually ever had a conversation with that man before?' For some reason, the moment made him smile. In some way, he found a reason to be happy. 'They care enough to talk to me…' Kira turned and walked to a large open area and unsheathed his sword. 'I guess they notice me more than I thought.' He motioned his sword up and down in a striking motion to begin the workout. 'And here, I was beginning to think I was forgotten behind the captain.' He could feel the heat on his arms increasing from exertion.

Kira changed his stance to stab the air, keeping his sword pointed straight while his body tensed with the form he took. The continuous stabbing began to make his abdominals stretch and burn with the turning motion. His forearms wanted to give out, but he held on for longer.

"You look like you're working hard."

Kira stopped slowly, lowering his sword. He turned to find a dark haired man looking at him. His face was intelligent and his eyes were kind. Instead of smiling at Kira, he yawned.

"Excuse me." He yawned a second time. "I didn't think somebody would be here." He smiled at Kira, but then let his brown eyes look to the scenery. "But from the look of your face, you seem to be distracted."

Kira's eyebrows furrowed. "Yes, you can say that."

"Would you like to confide in a stranger? I don't have much to do anyway, every one else is busy."

Kira looked the stranger over. He was taller than Kira by a couple inches, and his build was lanky. He stood out in the open field and talked casually with him, making Kira feel a little better with confiding with him. 'He must not know I'm a lieutenant. And I know we aren't getting new recruits anytime soon.'

The stranger sat down, then laid himself down onto his back, the fringe of his black hair slightly parted to show his forehead. "So what's the problem?"

Kira sheathed his sword and sat down next to the laid down shinigami. He looked to the shinigami, but their eyes didn't meet. The stranger was looking up at the sky. Kira turned forward, a bit confused, but eventually followed suit. He noticed a bird gliding across the sky. "I made an offer I don't know how to follow through with."

"Is that so." The stranger continued to stare into the sky, his hands now underneath his hair. A couple of strands caught in his hands so he freed them and repositioned his hands back.

"I offered to teach her how to write more legibly." Kira continued on, leaving his back open to the stranger as he began to let his legs stretch out before him.

"I didn't ask what it was you offered."

Kira stayed silent, taking no offense or hurt from the comment. He knew some kind advice was going to follow anyway. Waiting, he watched a tree shiver from the light gust of wind.

"You must like her if you give such a lame excuse to see her."

Kira eyes widened and then his eyebrows furrowed, turning to the man.

The shinigami lifted his head slightly to meet Kira's eyes. He raised an eyebrow.

"It's not like that." Kira kept his eyes on the stranger, giving a firm look.

"Then what is it like?" The shinigami laid his head back down once again, soaking in Kira's actions.

'I'm trying to figure out if she's an enemy.' Kira looked down, as if he said his thoughts aloud. 'I am sort of leading her on with a false excuse…but it's not entirely like that.' Kira, turned back and thought hard for a second on the best way to say what he really meant. "I…I want to know what's she's hiding."

"What could she be hiding that could make you offer something that lame of an excuse?"

"I'm not making an excuse, she really does need help. Her writing is absolutely awful." Kira chuckled a little, and the mood between the two lightened up. "I mean, she just seems to have something that bothers her sometimes. I've seen it before. Like, whenever she meets somebody, she freezes up for a second. Just for a second, short enough that no one really notices. She looks at them hard after they leave and it bothers me a little bit because it looks like she's…I guess…in pain? I don't even know." Kira sighed. "I just know it isn't normal."

The dark haired man let the words linger, and then breathed in, readying his own. "I don't see how helping her with her handwriting will help you find out anything about her."

"I guess not, but it'll at least bring us closer."

"Is that your real goal?"

'Why does he keep bring me back to square one?' Kira shook his head. "No, but it would help since we have to work together often."

"Oh, so you're a district guardian with her?"

"No," Kira plainly stated.

There was a moment of silence between the two. The shinigami sat back up, pulling his knee to his chest, and putting his arm on his knee. "Does she talk a lot to you?"

"I suppose not." Then Kira thought more about her. "She doesn't look like she talks to anybody outside of work. She isn't shy, she just doesn't say anything that isn't business. Like Captain Kuchiki, except not as cold."

The other nodded in understanding. He yawned. The two men sat next to each other, while one was trying to help the other understand. "Maybe she has something to say, but doesn't want it to be read."

"What? That would make no sense."

The stranger took a long look at Kira, then got up. "I guess not. I'll be leaving. I know I got some things to work on today." He dusted off the back of his uniform and pants, and stood next to Kira who was still sitting. "As for advice for that offer, I have no idea how you're going to _teach _her how to do it. Maybe you should train her on _letting _her do it. Get her comfortable you know?"

"I…" Kira began, unsure what he should say.

The stranger laughed. Kira looked up confused, but smiling a little to enjoy some of his laughter as if he understood what was so funny. His eyes, as Kira began to realize, were like Gin's as he smiled. As unsettling as the resemblance was, Kira saw his smile much less malevolent than Gin's. "Ah," the stranger settled down and said with mild playfulness, "if you can teach her how to write better, I'll bow down and call you master. It's just too damn impossible." He patted Kira on the back firmly, sounding like a close friend, he said, "I'll be seeing you around." He began to walk away and Kira watched silently.

Standing now, Kira looked at the empty training grounds. 'I…I don't think he helped me at all.' He shook his head and sighed with a little humor. 'So be it.'

Kira continued his training. When he headed back to his room, his back ached, and his arms were screaming in pain. The night was comforting with itscool air. 'What did he say? Maybe she has something to say but doesn't want it read? What would that… what does that mean?'

He opened his door and settled into his blankets. He drifted off to sleep, unsure what tomorrow would bring him.


	11. Chapter 10: Unnamed Chaos

Chapter 10 Unnamed Chaos

He rolled from his bed into a crouching position, trying to avoid putting his hands onto the cold wood floor, and then he slowly walked to the door. His forehead hit the door and without skipping a beat, he attempted to take hold of the door knob. First attempt was a miss. He tried again, placing his palm on the door and trying to go down in an S-motion attempting to detect the door knob. He turned the knob and his half lidded eyes looked down at her. For a couple seconds, no words were said.

"May I come in Izuru?" Tomoko's eyes shown a slight waver of worry. A mechanism set her smile to never leave her face.

Confused and tired, Kira asked, "No?" The lag in his thought process began to lull on a slow drawl. So having no patience for himself to boot up, he shut the door and proceeded to his warm blanket.

Tomoko reached for the door knob. Her muscles went rigid and her smiled soon sagged into a frown. The space between their two bodies began to increase and the intervals of her heartbeat shortened. She turned the door knob, but felt the unexpected jerk when it turned fully and allowed her in. She stood in the doorway, unsure of what next to do. The papers in her arms began to slip and she took them into her free hand. She entered the room.

It was a dark, cold room. The dim moonlight softly laid onto Kira's sleeping form under the blanket. His feet were hung over the bed, bare and toes curled, until Kira tucked them underneath the blanket.

"Captain, let's not… tonight." Kira's faced the wall and his feelings all over again. He clutched his blanket more tightly against his chest while closing his eyes.

"But you said anytime." Tomoko cocked her head and closed the door. The lock clicked into place.

"That doesn't mean in the middle of the night when every one is trying to sleep Captain. Go bother somebody else." Kira sighed and shifted in a more comfortable position, closer to the wall. Quietly, he added, "Leave me alone Gin…"

Tomoko's tone dropped a dangerous note. "But I'm not…" Her words seeped into the floor.

"The rest of us are tired. So count sheep. The stars. The letters of every word you've said today. God, Gin, just. Leave." Kira was tired. He could feel his reasoning slip as his slumber crept into his mind like rolling fog on a meadow.

Tomoko stood still against the opposing wall. She felt her heart wrench with sorrow. She knew she still didn't know how to make him understand. She felt all her wrong turns put her into this position. But she couldn't take them back.

Kira's eyes slightly opened, realizing the haori that he had saw in the doorway wasn't Gin's. He didn't want to turn around and wake up just yet though. He was scared to find the answer. To wake up now, he wondered what he would find.

In the short distance between the two, there was a shared loneliness. A sinking feeling that pulled from the depths of their hearts into the ground. It was as if the source of their courage and hope was losing its potency while having so much of both caused reality to crash down onto them so severely. The thought in their hearts became that there wouldn't be a person to look up to when they needed to be pulled up from the deep abyss of their darkness. The greater fear manifested itself into the belief that… to give into the human need of comfort and look up to search for help, there would be no one to care.

Tomoko panicked. Her hands became sweaty. Her breathing hitched. Her mind went racing. The distant memories she had tried to store away was brought to light in the swallowing shadows of the room. She fixated her eyes on Kira's breathing figure. The pause in her thought process made her forget to breathe. The slightest breath of her inner self escaped her body. _"There's nothing left for us…" _

She felt herself lose control of her own body. The papers had slipped from her hand and was left as a pool of white in front of the door. Before she knew it, Tomoko was hovering over Kira's sleeping figure, about to the lift the blanket from covering his cheek.

He grabbed her hand before it touched the edge of the blanket. "Your hand is cold..."

Shocked, Tomoko didn't move. Kira turned, a bit too slowly, to face her, holding her hand where he had stopped its decent. The dim light of the room painted shadows more harshly into the walls, looking as if a single movement between the two would cause the shadows to react and consume them where they were. Tomoko tried to breathe. Kira's eyes held a spark of power that suddenly made the hairs on her arms stand. The shock made her fearful and comforted in a single instant. Yet, she felt she had to look away. She felt the guilt seep like a heavy poison in the pit of her stomach.

"Were you scared?"

***Early next morning***

"So what is your name?"

"Sadao Mesuda." Sadao looked wearily to the paper Captain Toshiro was writing on. It was hard for Sadao to wake up so early, but he knew it would look better to his new captain.

"And why are you being transferred to the Tenth division?" Toshiro didn't lift his head as he wrote. He lifted the page and found an extended letter from Unohana explaining the situation in further detail.

"I'm being transferred because I have significant potential in combat skills. Upon learning my skills, Captain Unohana and I had agreed that it was the right choice to focus on my swordsmanship in another squad. Captain Hitsugaya." Sadao heard a bird fly away from the window sill. He wished he could do the same. He never took his eyes off Toshiro though, he kept silently hoping that the young captain would excuse him soon.

"Your zanpakuto is a melee type." Toshiro looked up, set away the papers carefully aside, and folded his hands together in a professional manner. He breathed out a stern sigh. "Why didn't you go to Squad 11?"

Sadao wanted to sigh too. "In Squad 4, we treat enough reckless men from Squad 11. Captain Unohana had said it was not the squad to cultivate my skills in. So we both agreed your squad would be better, Captain Hitsugaya."

Toshiro stared hard at the new recruit. Silently, he collected the official transfer paper and signed the last page. "Very well. I'll see to it that you get a full tour of the barracks by one of your new comrades. You're excused for the rest of the day."

Bowing quickly, Sadao's back popped loudly. A face of disbelief and annoyance stretched across his face. He almost couldn't lift his face back up to see Toshiro's stoic face. He stood there for a minute still in a bow.

"You can leave now Mesuda." Toshiro stopped looking at Sadao and began looking through the prompt he had received about a joint mission.

"Thank you Captain Hitsugaya." Stiffly, Sadao turned and walked out of the office. Closing the doors with care, he turned to the hallway to find Rangiku peering into his face.

"Who are you?" She backed off and smiled with a slight lift to make her smile seductively suspicious. "Are you the new recruit from Squad 4?"

Sadao blushed from seeing the enormity of Rangiku's cleavage that were slightly pressing against his chest. He leaned back into the office doors in desperation of an escape. He tried not to let his eyes wander down from her face. "Yes, Lieutenant Matsumoto. Now if you please excuse me." He tried to evade her by trying to go around but she pressed on.

"Let me take you around! I just need to get something in the office and then we can set off." Rangiku blocked him from escape and grabbed his forearm, pushing him back onto the doors. She grinned up at him and tried to maneuver pushing him against the door and opening the other with her other hand. He tried to slip away from her grip but he found she was surprisingly strong. The doors opened swiftly and Sadao's eyes widened with slight fear.

Toshiro held the frames of the doors with both his arms. "Quit harassing the-"

"Shit."

"Omff!"

"Wah!"

The three landed on top of the other. Toshiro was silent on the bottom while Sadao gave up struggling and sighed in defeat being sandwiched between his new lieutenant and captain. Toshiro attempted a last struggle by trying to crawl from under Sadao's weight, but Sadao didn't want to push Matsumoto off, so Toshiro just tried to yell.

The tickle from the yelling captain under his back had no effect on Sadao. The grip on his forearm from Matsumoto felt like it was enough for him to free Toshiro of the both of them but would result in toppling onto the voluptuous lieutenant. The grip was sure to be enough to leave a bruise too. He began to question when his day went wrong. He didn't know this squad would be so hard to handle. He was reconsidering a transfer to Kenpachi's squad if it didn't have uncomfortable situations like this.

Rangiku laughed out of good spirit and raised a perverted eyebrow to the energy-drained recruit. "So…both ways?"

***In the Squad 3 Barracks***

"Captain, there's a joint scouting mission coming up. I'll have to get a small group together and head over to the district soon." Kira looked through the papers and took one from the middle of his stack and read it over.

Tomoko looked up from her own reading and nodded silently. She set her head back down on her hand as she read the report from Soi Fon.

Kira chuckled and shook his head a little. He began to pull a list from a draw and add the names of shinigami that he wanted to go on the mission with him. The mission required the squad to take three shinigami to take with them, so Kira tried to choose those who haven't been exposed to many scouting missions and those who needed to train some more on the field. "It'll be a three day and two night trip, so you'll be holding down the fort until I get back."

"Be quiet Lieutenant Izuru. I'll be fine. Just make sure my men come home safe and alive." She hadn't looked up, but knew he heard.

He stared at her for a while and then his lips slightly lifted at one end.

For some reason, Tomoko felt that "almost" smile at her from Kira, and it unsettled her. She wasn't sure what it meant. She continued reading.

Kira got up and set the piece of paper, with the shinigami he was going to bring on the mission, in front of her. "Sign it please Captain Matsuyama."

Pulling open the draw, she looked through it and found an ink pad and a stamp. Tomoko took the stamp, lathered it in the ink, and stamped her signature on the signature line. She hadn't looked up until she had put away the materials. "Is there a problem Lieutenant Izuru?" She hadn't changed her facial expression from disinterest.

There was a spark between them as they slightly glared at one another. Although, Kira eventually broke the contact and turned. "Thanks Captain Matsuyama." He set the paper in his pocket and smiled once outside the office.

Tomoko breathed a sigh and massaged her forehead. She was confused again. She felt like a moron, choosing another wrong move, but she knew she had to act as if it was a determining factor in her conduct with Kira. But she felt herself loosing all the power she had as Kira was slowly chipping away the layers of protection she had created. She laid her head on her desk, feeling the cool surface on her forehead. She grumbled to herself in a half-hearted defeated feeling, "All of it. All my work… just crumbled in one encounter. It was as if…" She didn't want to say the rest out loud. She had always been the kind of person to believe walls talked. But the words she longed to say were, _"his eyes saw what no one else tried to see." _A spiteful wish erupted from her lips, but it evaporated into the air as wishes usually do when the guilt sets in like gravity.

***The next day***

The small group trailed through the forest in search for an open meadow. Matsumoto and Kira leading the front, six other shinigami followed in a lazy line behind them. There were no conversations but the atmosphere began to speak for itself. The wind brushed the tree tops and the scuffle of their shoes on the ground made the mood between all of them less inclined to speak.

"Matsumoto, let's set camp up at the meadow coming up. We got two good hours of daylight, and there have been reports of attacks on the nearby city by a group of bandits that live in this forest. We'll catch them better at night, it seems these attacks had happened then more than in the daytime." Kira kept his pace, but upon entering the meadow his hand hovered the hilt of his zanpakuto, allowing his spiritual pressure to scan and send waves through the perimeter. Everyone halted behind and felt the slight wave of Kira's spiritual pressure bounce from them. It was silent and Kira relaxed. Years of practice with medical kido helped him control his spiritual more smoothly enough not to be too forceful onto others. He settled his pack down and the rest did the same in different areas.

"Kira," Matsumoto set her pack down next to his, "as my partner in leading this mission, could you set up my tent?" She batted her lashes at Kira.

Kira shook his head, annoyed and showing a less than amused expression. "Matsumoto, you got to do it yourself. We've all been walking for as long as you have."

Matsumoto pouted at her pack. But soon, she found a solution and her face brightened. "If you want me to do my own tent, I'll be too tired to walk." She feigned an exhausted expression. "I may be so tired that maybe I'll have to get a piggy back ride from somebody on the team. But that'd be too mean! So then wouldn't it make more sense for us _lieutenants _to stick out for each other?" She added in a coy smile. "So, you would just carry me all the way back to the barracks and I can take care of setting up the tent. Like a good comrade sticking out for each other." She smiled and she pulled the half opened pack and pulled out the tent. "I'll take care of that Lieutenant Izuru!" Matsumoto glowed an uncharacteristic enthusiasm to do the manual labor for camp set up, something that unnerved Kira quite a bit.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto," a female shinigami tapped Matsumoto's shoulder, "I'll be setting up our tent. It said in our mission format that we would be sharing a tent anyway." She tilted her head at the sight of Matsumoto holding the Kira's tent pack close to her chest.

Rangiku followed suit, tilting her head the opposite side. "We are?" It took her a couple seconds to process the new information while Kira quickly snatched the pack away from Rangiku's arms and shuffled away to a safer distance away from her. Then it clicked. "Ah! The paper Captain handed to me and then I handed to you guys earlier?"

"Yes, Lieutenant Matsumoto." The shinigami looked even more befuddled, as she didn't understand how Matsumoto was Squad 10's lieutenant.

Rangiku blinked but then smiled, getting up to hug the small shinigami. "Guess that makes us tent mates." The hug slightly tipped the female shinigami off balance but they both eventually got to their tent to set up their belongings.

While the two ladies were getting acquainted with one another, Kira was having some problems setting up. He looked for a rod but then opted to steal whatever extra was in Rangiku's pack that she had abandoned in the middle of the meadow. He walked up to the tent supply and shuffled through the materials.

"Need some more help?" A familiar voice came by and Kira looked up to find Kazuki next to him searching through the pack with him. "I'll be sharing with you anyway so I should be helping with set up." The brunette grabbed the rod that Kira was trying to find and he went and set up the rest of the tent. While checking the stability of their tent from the outside, Kazuki said, although a bit apprehensive at first, "How is Captain doing?"

"Hmm?" Kira hadn't quite heard Kazuki quite right because he was inside the tent. "Oh, yeah, she's okay."

Kazuki smiled a little. "That Captain Matsuyama… she sure is interesting. A lot different than what most of us are used to."

Kira felt himself inwardly laugh. He wanted to say, _"Gin and Tomoko are different for sure." _But decided against it and ended up saying, "It'll take some time to get used to, but I am starting to think that it won't be that bad."

Kazuki nodded and went on with his work with the tent. He didn't detect the confidence in Kira's voice though.

He had no clue Kira had a secret. The events that conspired that night replayed itself over and over again, even as the night set in and a fire was lit for their camp. It was soon coming to the time when they were going to set off.

Since the night was going to be spent on surveillance they all went alone, scouting out some of the forest and parts of the city. Kira was assigned to the city and they all agreed to come back before day break. Two people were assigned to keep eye on the camp site, a job Matsumoto didn't want to do but ended up having. Each were given a dirty, brown cloak to cover their uniforms, just in case they encountered people.

"It's dark now, so don't get lost anywhere. All of you leave some amount of reiatsu in something so you all can find your way back." Kira told them as he handed out the cloaks. "We expect the execute this mission by the end of the third day. We've used up our first day by setting up camp and getting her. We're going to have to use our first night efficiently. I want all of you to report something when you come back." They all nodded and split up. Matsumoto and the other shinigami staying at camp began to set up a spirtual barrier around the parameter.

Kira headed out last. He selected one of the prime areas of the attacks, the poorer, downtrodden area that hid its evils in alleyways and back rooms. Kira kept to the shadows, knowing that his first priority was to survey without the suspicion of locals. He soon found an abandoned house, its windows and door gone and inside furniture a forgotten memory. He chose to sit outside the house like a beggar, finding a broken fragment of a bowl from inside the house to play as his beggar bowl. He sat there and watched the scenes of the locals everyday life pass.

The people who walked passed him were neither extremely poor or extremely fortunate. In the lingering daylight, there seemed to be a hurry in their step. The strip of road that sat between Kira and a lavish restaurant was wide, giving Kira a large view to the whole street. He saw dust slowly float with every passerby's feet. He watched them, wondering what their purpose was and where they were going. He checked if there was anything suspicious about their walk or clothes to alert him. He didn't find anything yet. He shifted his legs that were growing numb. Closely inspecting the restuarent a couple times, he noticed it's bright colors and neighboring businesses seem out of place from the side he was sitting on. He looked to his right and left and saw poverty, while on the other side seemed to be the slumbering high life.

It had been quiet for a while and no one had passed Kira for a while. He hadn't cared or was surprised that no one had left a coin for him either.

Then the night really began. The lights of the restaurant turned on and for some reason, things came to life. People came from the shadows as if revitalized by the new atmosphere of the street. Kira no longer saw the poor farmers or workmen that he had earlier when the day was ending. Merchants clothed in nice clothing threw money away and laughed without a care to the now bustling night life that may over hear. Con artists with their crooked smiles and wicked games set up their posts around the scene. Kira was amazed at first by the polarity of it all. He had never witnessed such a drastic change. He stared on in a amazement until a man came up to him.

"Oi, move it boy. This is my spot." A man with a small broken wood crate and a deck of cards stood in front of Kira. He wore tattered clothes and smirked without a couple of teeth. Kira watched as the man purposely revealed a small knife inside the band of his worn pants. "Don't make me hurt you now boy." He leered down to Kira who was looking up undaunted by the man's threats.

Kira stood up and made the other man stagger back. Kira stood a foot taller than the man and saw the angry fear that was in the man's eyes.

"You want to fi-"

"Take the spot." Kira went to leave to another spot and the man suspiciously set down his crate and cards. Kira chose his spot in the alleyway next to the restaurant. He found that no one wanted to look at him. No matter how many people passed by, it was almost if they would quickly avert their eyes from him as if he were a grotesque animal in a cage.

"Let me show you tricks to your future! With these cards you will surely understand the meaning of wealth!" The man that had took Kira's spot begun to shout his proclamation into the bustle of the crowd.

Kira was trying to tell from the faces who was too wealthy to be suspected of the bandits. He ruled out those who wore longer pants and finer silk, he knew them to have no ability or use to run from anything. He then spotted a suspicious man trying to blend into the scenery. He was leaning against the wall with a flopping hat and torn pants. His ankles were cracked with dirt and he had a leaf stuck in his hair. Kira chose him as a target, seeing as he was sober looking. No farmers were to come here unless they were looking to gamble and get drunk. Kira caught his eye and the man immediately looked away.

Kira wanted to smile a little. "So even the poor are too guilty to stare at the poorer," he muttered to himself. The man looked again at Kira and saw Kira's intent eyes. A little rattled by a beggar looking at him, the man with the muddied feet began to weave himself into the crowd.

Kira stood up and stepped closer to become consumed into the crowd, but then he heard a screech. He looked to the house he had sat in front of before and saw the trickster with the cards held his small knife close to his chest as a man was yelling at him and pulling their own in a drunk fury. Two other men laughed as they had stopped and watched. Kira looked stunned. He looked around to see if anyone had seen or was watching. The stream of people never stopped to watch. It was if they couldn't smell that trickster's fear in the air over the smell of their perfume. Kira looked to his target melting farther into the crowd, and then to the man shaking in fear looking smaller and older than he had first looked, when he kicked Kira out from the spot.

One of the men punched the trickster in the stomach, then as the small knife dropped from his hands and he recoiled back on and onto the floor. The trickster held his arms over his balding and graying head, but the drunk man continued on as the other bystanders laughed from the hilarity of the beating. The pounding of the drunk man's fists sounded like muffled booms. Yet the night time was filling with greater laughter to cover such atrocities.

"Please!" The trickster tried to speak without spraying too much blood from his mouth. "Please stop! I didn't mean to!" A hit to hit ribs caused the man to gasp in agony.

"Like hell you didn't you rotten liar!" Drunk and ruthless, the beating continued. The cards from on top of the crate were scattered about the small scene and Kira didn't know what to do. He understood that this usually happened in the lower district cities, but he never expected to see such brutality so close to him. Time slowed and he watched the bobbing hat of his target zigzag in the crowd, trying to move upstream. Kira turned to the old man as another kick collided into his back. Kira looked to the faces of those laughing now, creating a small crowd to enjoy such humility.

Kira's heart beat wildly as stress induced adrenaline consumed him. He had a choice. Kira made another step forward into the crowd. His hands began to sweat and the smell of the cloak became more potent for some reason. He made a wish to himself and set on a path towards one of them. He had made his choice between the soldier and the human part of him.


	12. Chapter 11: Encounter

Chapter 11 Encounter

Tomoko sat in the open field. She knew it wasn't the right thing to be outside so late, but she assumed it was okay to be wandering in her own squad barracks.

She was drawn to the night. It may have been that everything seemed calmer in the night or that everything was increasingly more mysterious, that made her feel a comforting loneliness. Tomoko wanted to think; she had a lot on her mind.

She laid down on the grass, the cold was a comforting protector. But she knew an old friend was hiding in the shadows like a coward too afraid to face her. She felt his presence come closer with every step and she smelled his agitation.

A man cloaked in black slowly walked out of the shadows. He didn't move any closer than necessary, only a couple feet away. He then asked her quietly, "Are you awake?"

Tomoko sighed and mumbled, "Yes. There something you want?" She didn't open her eyes or move really. She knew she didn't have to for him.

"I was just sent to check on you, but you know why else." There was no enjoyment in his voice, as he was doing this out of duty rather than pleasure.

"Go away Kaname. I know exactly why you're here and it pisses me off. You got a minute to leave." Tomoko wanted to let her anger burst and let it attack Kaname, but she knew the complications it would lead to if she were to cause a battle in her own barrack.

"Anger may come with my presence, but my presence does not come with anger." Kaname looked down at Tomoko, angering Tomoko even more. "It's only fitting a worm would lie on the ground while humans sleep on beds."

"You blind fuck!" she hissed with her eyes open now. In a split second, Tomoko had gotten onto her feet and swung her sword. Fire engulfed her blade and a ribbon of the flames trailed her sword. Kaname dodged by flash-stepping behind Tomoko, keeping his distance still. Tomoko's face changed from fierce irritation to cold, stoic indifference as she watched the fire that momentarily light the space in the meadow like a glowing sun, fade and dissipate with haunting melancholy.

Kaname turned his back against her, appearing as if her outburst had no effect on him. "I'll be returning soon enough. Fall with the rest of Soul Society as far as I care. Justice has always, at some point, chosen to run parallel with Fate. For the reasons I have come here for, you have answered and obliged with. I'll be leaving first, Matsuyama." Kaname slowly began to walk away.

Before he could enter the trees' safety, his breath caught in his throat. Tomoko stood right in front of him like a demon in the shadows of the trees. Her blue eyes looked black without the illumination of the moonlight. Her captain haori appeared too bright in the darkness. But, it wasn't what he couldn't see that struck fear in Kaname. It was the atmosphere.

Tomoko began to resonate her reiatsu in the environment. In little drops from the initial resonance of her reiatsu, there were erratic, ghostly forms beginning to shift and morph. Kaname could feel the forms distort his vision and he tried desperately to hone in on Tomoko's physical body. He felt his sight become distorted by the increasing closeness of the ghost reiatsu forms.

"I suggest to you." She took a step towards him and the shifting reiatsu became even more concentrated. "And hope that you would really look to towards the benefits." Another step towards Kaname. She whispered with seething poison dripping from her tongue, to his face as a droplet of sweat dripped slowly and shakily down to his neck despite the cold of the night, "That you do not try and make me any more of an enemy than I am now."

With that, she drew back her reiatsu, walked away from the meadow, and never looked back.

Kaname didn't give himself time to catch his breath. He left quickly and entered Las Noches without a word. His heart beat was still racing as the after effects of Tomoko's reiatsu still lingered in his memory.

"Aww, looks like Tomoko startled you again Tosen. You shouldn't let her play with you too roughly." Gin leaned against a door frame and watched Kaname stop before entering his room. Kaname didn't look at Gin, but replied, "I do not understand why you interacted with that child. She is a demon, seeing no laws worthy enough to abide by. Just another ruthless killer that feeds off anger, another person that must be terminated." Kaname opened his door and entered his room. He shut the door and Gin looked around to see if anyone was in the corridor to entertain him.

"Sigh." Gin pouted. Speaking aloud and to no one, Gin said, "I wonder what Kira is up to. Because Tomoko seems to be having some fun as a captain." A little sadly, Gin tilted his head to the ceiling like it were the night sky. "She always wanted to be Captain…" He then laughed loudly, an echo sounding down the hall. "For who she is, Squad 3 was always the perfect place for her." A smiled stretched across Gin's face as he was especially amused with the whole situation. "Kira, Kira. That boy. Perhaps he saw something I had missed." Gin's grin grew to his cheek bones peculiarly. He then entered his room to sleep, because, well, that was all he could really do at the moment.

He opened a draw in his nightstand and looked down at the pictures he had taken of the two as of recently. Gin knew he wouldn't have to do anything but watch as the drama between them would unfold. Knowing them for so long, he knew it was just their nature.

***Meanwhile, In the Street***

The musky scent of the cloak made Kira's nose itch. His brain tried to keep a pace of his own breathing. Swimming through the flow of people, he felt that he was going against the current. No one wanted to have any contact with him though, as he was filthy in their eyes and toxic to the touch.

He eventually met his objective in the clearing.

Kira had made his choice. The old man laid coiled on the ground still. He walked towards to protect him with no hesitation or second thoughts.

He forgot it all. He forgot the duty he had as a soldier to his mission, forgot the man in the flopping hat, forgot about his comrades at camp, forgot the bustling life in the street, he, most of all, forgot his fear. There was no fear in him of consequences or failure. He felt determined to save the old trickster from his death. Kira wanted to save a soul from unavoidable fate. He wanted to change the inevitable.

He stepped in between the drunk man and shielded the trickster who laid on the ground. The iron scent of blood filled Kira's nostrils and, whether it was animal instincts or warrior senses, he became more aware of his opponent. The drunk man looked wild. His jaw was slightly ajar and eyes filled with unruly ferocity. He swung at Kira as if it did not register or matter that Kira wasn't his original target.

Kira continued to take the beating, allowing the barrage to bruise his chest and stomach. A hit on the jaw, Kira winced but stood firm above the old man. Another hit to his lungs, Kira felt the pain burn in his skin. Again. Again. Again. Kira hadn't moved to touch his sword, but felt the intimidation of his endurance strike fear in the small audience and the drunk man. The crowd soon dispersed, no longer curious of the old man's fate. The drunken man continued with more fury, as if it would give him more power against his undaunted, cloaked foe. Kira noticed the beads of sweat falling from his hair line and the red lines in the drunk man's eyes. He noted the graying stubble that appeared to be no longer taken care of. The clothes that smelled of filth and alcohol, seemed to be no better than rags on a man whose build was too big for it.

"Why do you protect him huh!?" Another hit to Kira's side accompanied the question. Kira showed no sign of fatigue on his face. "You know what he done?!"

"He's just an old man!" Kira's reply startled the man as he hadn't expected such power to come from his opponent's mouth. "Have you no shame to hit an old man who is trying to survive!?" Kira stepped towards the drunk man who shuffled and fell back in fear. Kira looked down on the drunkard and asked him with up most care to convey his anger. "What kind of a man are you?"

Kira saw a slight film of confused grief momentarily fill the man's eyes, but it soon replaced with drunken shame. He then ran from the scene and into the seemingly never-ending crowd. Kira was disgusted no one was watching the scene. All of them, every face he looked to, ignored him and the old man who was covered in blood. Kira turned and looked the old man over. Kneeling down, he reached over to his neck to check his pulse. "Still breathing, only barely hanging on." Very discretely, Kira began healing the old man. He didn't want to cause a scene for the onlookers alarm that a shinigami was present in their most likely illegal transactions. He healed the open cuts just to stop the bleeding, and picked the up old man up and put him on his back. He needed to find a safer place to fully heal the old man's internal wounds. Cards and blood scattered the scene, but the dirt was quick to try and cover it up as Kira left it abandoned.

Kira traveled through the crowd more towards the outskirts of the district. People bumped into him, but none offered to help. Kira became detached to the environment. His only goal at the moment was to save the old man while there was still moonlight to save his identity.

Kira hadn't noticed when he entered the threshold of the poorer part of the district. The houses had considerably become more dark and decayed. The trees seemed to grow in between the houses as if searching for an escape from the squeezing space. The branches looked abused and cut too short. There were no sounds.

All he heard were his footsteps and the old man's very light breathing. He noticed the boards on the roofs decaying. Feeling eyes watching him, he would look in the direction to find a cloth quickly shielding the on looking face from view. Kira felt the houses were all looking at him in curiosity, closing in on him as if he were an entertaining lone performer for their midnight activities. At some point in his journey, he found a stone staircase. It was of questionable originals, whether it was a natural occurrence of time or man made, he could not determine. He still chose to walk down them to whatever path it would lead him to.

It opened into a pathway shielded by trees which made him especially aware of the darkness. Trees covered the sky to the point where only a strip of the night sky could be seen in between the trees tops. Kira stopped and looked at the stars and, underneath the man on his back and the dirty cloak, he felt serene for a short minute.

But then Kira got back into his own personal mission. He had to make sure that there was no one hiding in the brush and branches, so he began to send out a wave of his spiritual pressure to scan the area. He soon found an abandoned house close by. Upon coming closer, he was surprised. There were no vines trying to consume the house or any other markings of nature trying to overcome the small home. Pausing to look around, he noticed gold coins hanging on a tree nearby and wondered how long those had been up there. He observed that there was something wrong with the home. But he chose against such underlying feelings and went to open the door slowly. He heard a crack.

Lifting his foot, he found broken pieces of a small toy in the dirt. "I'm sorry," he murmured to the small toy. Holding the man still, he maneuvered opening the door and found ragged sandals in the hallway. Neatly, he set his own out of respect. "Forgive me for my intrusion," he spoke barely above a whisper. The old man coughed, a light sputtering of blood or spit hit Kira's cheek, but Kira wiped it off and ignored it. Kira quickly shut the door. Kira entered the closest room. The floor was a tattered mat, dirty with dust. Taking off his cloak, he set the man down on top of it. Kira looked around for any extra supplies, but all he saw were a couple of cracked bowls and a pot. The fire pit in the center of the room was empty and filled with ash. Fresh ash.

Kira took note of that for later knowledge, but looked to his current patient. Kira hadn't noticed the blood on his uniform sleeves until now and wondered if this old man was actually going to make it. Kira breathed in to set himself into the right mind frame and began healing the man. The blue glow of the kido illuminated the room and it gave a soft, muted humming to the atmosphere.

Afterwards, Kira felt a little tired. He leaned back with his hands supporting him on the floor. A little dirt wouldn't hurt him. He sighed in fatigue, completely ignoring his own bruises. But, he didn't breathe back in. He stared frozen. A pair of eyes stared at him behind the thin cloth of the window.

Red, wide eyes.

Kira wanted to reach for his zanpakuto but, he couldn't. Unblinking, the eyes began to appear bigger -closer. The air began to be humid and hot. Like labored breaths.

The arms on Kira's arms began to raise. He keenly felt the hot air on the back of his neck.

The fabric of the window moved with the wind, and the eyes disappeared.

Even when he watched the fading red, Kira still did not want to breathe. Fearful that it would come back once it smelled his breath, he restrained himself.

Some time passed, and Kira let his breath out. He looked around the room and didn't want his fear to increase just because of the darkness. He wanted to think he wasn't a little kid that was scared of the dark. Kira created a kido orb and set it on the fire place in order to illuminate the small room. The eerie encounter unnerved Kira but he soon forgot about it as the old man woke.

"So you're a shinigami?" The old man wearily eyed Kira.

Kira nodded.

"Better get the hell out of here. No one wants shinigami here." The old man tried to get up, but let out a groan of strain as his wounds stung.

Kira tried to settle him back down, but the old man laid back on his own accord and swatted Kira's hands away. Now, Kira was ticked off. "I saved you and this is how you repay somebody?"

"You're not a good citizen, you're a shinigami. In these parts shinigami like you don't do shit for us." The old man looked at the glowing orb. Curious and amazed as he was, the old man still turned his head against the light.

Kira was confused, but continued on. "We do a lot for this community, I can't believe you people think that we don't do anything for you. I just saved your life. What does that say?"

"Says nothing. Life won't change for me just because you saved me. It'll just keep going. Going and going until eventually I die as dirt poor as my own good-for-nothing daddy had." The old man's voice seemed strained. He hadn't spoken very loudly, but loudly enough for Kira to here the true sadness in his heart.

Kira stayed silent a while. He was torn between the anger he had for the old man's words and a sorrow for its honesty. It was time for a change of subject. "What's your name?"

"Yori."

"Yori…I don't know what you're talking about. But I just want you to know that I saved your life because... It was my duty to save you." Kira searched for some hope. He noticed a cut on the back of the man's head, but chose to heal it later. If there was a later of course.

Yori wanted to laugh. "Me? Just me huh?" If he had a bottle of sake, he would of drank some at this moment. "You saved me only because you saw what happens all the time. Some man attacks another man and the other is dead on the street next morning striped of his money, knives, even his toe jam if it can bring any cash home. You don't know how desperate people can get… In this case, I just won't be there in the morning to mug." Yori grimaced as he had never spoken so thoughtfully before to anyone.

More silence.

Kira didn't understand. He knew Renji and Rukia had come from the streets, even Toshiro to a degree, but they never shared such feelings as this man had. "What would make you hate shinigami so much? There are even some shinigami that come from districts like these, even worse ones."

"Just because we have such a nice city doesn't mean the city is nice. Being so close to them, it makes us…makes the rest of us invisible. We become dogs for 'em. When we ask for help, you shinigami look away. Sometimes pity us. But we don't want pity. We want help from hell. But, what am I saying? You wouldn't care to know what an man like me has to say." At this point Yori felt a little dizzy. The loss of blood had possibly made him smarter, but he felt he had said what his heart had always known. He turned to look Kira at the eye.

Kira saw the look turn into a glare. He returned the glare. "Then I'm sorry for intervening. It seems you were better off without me." Kira shook his head and wanted to head out, leaving the bastard here but then he heard Yori say something.

"This house… why this one?"

Kira was annoyed. "Why else? It's abandoned and I needed to heal your wounds and take care of infections in private so no one would act like you have about me."

"Funny eh? How you choose the house that a shinigami lived in once. I bet she's dead now."

"A shinigami lived here once?" Kira felt this man was just wrapping lies all around Kira in order to confuse him more. It was evident he should have just walked out when he could.

"Yeah." Yori didn't want to go into full detail, if he knew any more. But then he laughed.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Kira looked with suspicion. "What are you laughing at?"

"I liked you better when I thought you were a beggar."

With that final straw, Kira stood up and dusted himself off. "Get off the cloak."

Obediently, Yori rolled off and sat himself against the wall. "Look kid. It's not you I don't like. It's the uniform. You'll understand what I mean when you feel like trash because of it."

Kira destroyed his kido orb and stood up in the darkness. "I will never betray the Soul Society," he said, solemnly.

"It will betray you like it has all of us."

If Kira were a shorter fused man, then he would of hit the old man. But Kira, was smart. Or a better word, practical. If he hit Yori, he would have to heal him again. Too much time would be wasted and he didn't want to stay with the old man any longer. Kira stepped towards the hallway, trying to get away, but then Yori said something that made Kira's feet halt.

"I killed that man's wife."

Kira turned his head slowly, now holding his zanpakuto hilt. "You did what?"

With a grim expression, Yori explained, "I told his pregnant wife she would find fortune very soon because Fate would bestow her unborn child with a gift. Turns out, the kid died a couple hours after birth. Not my fault because how would I know? I figure I do a good deed by giving her hope that her kid would one day be something but, then she went ahead and died from grief." At this point, Yori sighed in some form of regret. "She is like everyone else. Everyone tryin' to have hope of surviving in the desert, but knowing it won't get better if ya' do." Yori kept eye contact with Kira, who stood in the doorway barely turned to look at him. "Anyway, the husband had to take care of the two daughters. He couldn't so he had to send them away to a brothel. That's what the man told me that while drunk. So," he let out a small sad huff, "how much of that should I believe?"

Kira turned away from Yori. "Why would you tell me this? I saved your life dammit."

"It makes me feel rich... As if I was a rich man who called for a shinigami for help because some poor souls were hurting me. But maybe all along, I've hurt them more." There wasn't any joy from his words. Just heavy sorrow that clings like mud on the skin. Kira was struck by the words.

Kira left in a flash. He didn't want to hear any more. He ran far without any directions. He didn't understand the world he had stepped into. A world where shinigami were the villians? Where Gin's betrayal was justified? He didn't want that. Stopping a moment in the forest's center, Kira looked around. "Where am I?" He searched for some landmarks. He then spotted it. The pair of red demon eyes. He sent out a wave of spirtual pressure, but to his fearful surprise, the being had no spiritual energy of its own.

Kira backed away slowly, but the being followed with what appeared to be malicious intent. Bolting in a different direction, Kira's mind began racing. 'What could it want from me?' Kira sped through the trees and for some time, he had thought he was no longer being chased. 'What is it?' He looked behind him for a second, but found a shadowy body nearing him. Flash-stepping even faster, Kira soon saw a meadow. He also saw a fire. He jump rolled into the meadow and saw his comrades.

"Lieutenant Izuru! You're finally here! You need to heal Kazuki!" An exasperated male shinigami of large build ran towards Kira. Pointing to a tent, the one that Kazuki and Kira were to share, the shinigami continued, "He's been poisoned badly!"

"What-how?!" Kira was still scared by the creature that followed him, but then his mind went straight to Kazuki. 'Kazuki must have run into the target that I hadn't followed. They got into a battle. The enemy has poison on their side. How long has Kazuki been poisoned? What have I done?'

"He stepped on a plant! He's been turning red and has been itching. Lieutenant Matusmoto didn't know what to do, so she told us just to wait for you." The shinigami looked to Kira concerned.

Kira couldn't believe it. 'Matsumoto, you're a moron.' Sighing, Kira allowed himself to be led to the tent in order to put the ointment on Kazuki. The remaining hours of night, he concluded, would be spent sleeping outside, away from the itching Kazuki.

The creature watched on from the depths of the darkness.

***Last Night in Kira's Room***

"_Were you scared?"_

"Why do you act as if you're not?" Kira asked, his blue eyes catching the light. Tomoko hadn't taken her hand from his grasp. When he noticed she had left her hand in his for a bit longer than he even expected, she caught on, and quickly retracted her hand. Kira turned more to face Tomoko and a part of his chest became exposed from the falling blanket. He took no notice of the cold. "You're trying so hard not to break apart, but why?" He sat up then, his legs apart and covered in a blanket. Tomoko watched with stunned alertness. "Say something, Captain."

It took her a moment to fully understand the situation. She quickly angry. "I don't know what you're talking about lieutenant. I'm going to go."

At this point, Kira thought two words:

'Fuck It.'

Kira went up and took Tomoko in his arms and pulled her in place between his legs. Kira's scent quickly filled Tomoko's nostrils and she was disarmed for a moment.

"Kira!" Tomoko barely whispered her opposition.

He held her fore arms and brought her back to his chest. He rested his head in the crook of her neck and sighed. "I'm not an idiot. It's rude of you to think I am."

Tomoko struggled and tried to escape. "Lieutenant, whatever you're going to do, just let me go now and you won't be reprimanded." She tried to sound angry, but it turned into frantic fumbling with her words.

"I just told you, I'm not an idiot, Captain. If this weren't enough to get me a punishment, then I'm beginning to think that you want this." Kira rubbed his cheek against Tomoko's and he felt the cold disappear from her body. "You look like you don't want a hug, but you don't know me." He gave her body a squeeze to warm her more and he listened to her heart beat.

Tomoko felt her ribbon become very loose Stunned and scared, her heartbeat beat faster. She hoped that Kira couldn't hear it.

"I've worked with Gin Ichimaru for a very long time. I may have not of known all of what went on with his head, I can surely see what goes on in your's." Kira chuckled, out of spite for himself. "I think he only kept me lieutenant because of this ability."

Tomoko began to nervously sweat. Her body temperature rose as she began to struggle against Kira. She wanted out at that moment. Out now.

Kira allowed Tomoko to struggle. A habit that Kira had not initially enjoyed inheriting from Gin, was keen observation. It was as if Gin had trained him for it. Moments would come up in their former missions where Gin would ask if he had noticed this and that, but as time went on, Kira noticed more because of it. Kira watched and learned, just as Gin had wanted him to. It made him wonder, now that Gin was gone, if this is what it was for.

He watched Tomoko. Saw her eyes strain from looking at him. Her hands trying to break out from his grasp. He watched her chest rise and fall. He sighed allowing the air flow slowly from his mouth, and felt her body go stone rigid with fear. "Do you want me to stop holding you, Captain Matsuyama?"

Tomoko stayed silent. She couldn't trust herself with anything at this point. She waited for something, some sign of a right or wrong answer, because she was scared of what would come out of her mouth if she didn't choose the correct one.

Kira pulled her closer to his chest, letting her feel the rate of his breathing. He didn't say a word. He felt the fabric of her haori against his chest, now bare because of her struggling and he waited patiently for her to reply. It was all up to her what action he would choose. He gave no hints away as he found he enjoyed her figure in his arms. The clothes were misleading as he found her hips were curvier than he suspected and her skin colder. Without any real intention of seduction, he caressed Tomoko's neck with his lips. Some part of him wanted to share his warmth to his cold captain. Enjoying her scent, his soft lips parted slightly. The closeness comforted him and so he rubbed his cheek against the back of her neck as a thank you for staying still for him and waited more. He had to keep a clear head even while having her body against his skin was so smooth soft, making him feel…more gentle.

The moonlight streaming from the window glanced at them and generously lathered them with its light. Both of them sat on the bed, one in the other's arms. At this moment, their hearts were unsure of what to make of the other.

There was no answer still. Tomoko couldn't say it. She'd lose the game. Biting her lip, she struggled again. This time Kira let go, having her tumble down on the floor on her hands and knees. Quickly, she got to her feet and was at the door. Looking at him, she blushed and worried about her fast beating heart. Kira's chest was now shown bare, his torso pale and toned. Bare and getting cold, his hands were on the bed since they no longer had anything to hold. His blanket was draped over his legs and his hips were revealed as his pants had stopped low. He looked disappointed at first, but then showed he wasn't surprised. He didn't look away from her. The fear in her eyes was apparent. As much as he was confused with that fear, he didn't want to comfort her.

Moving his legs a little, Kira said to her so not to frighten her, "You can leave now."

Tomoko hadn't moved. Too confused. Kira was too confusing. She didn't know how to handle it. It wasn't in her repertoire. 'Was this an act of a friend or a foe? Who can I blame? Have I done something wrong? What does he know about me? Should it matter?' Turning around to the door, she left without cleaning up her mess.

The papers stayed a scattered mess on the floor but Kira was thinking now. The cogs in his brain sprung to life with the new thoughts about his captain. He laid down, disregarding his blanket. The picture of Tomoko in his head became less abstract and more tangible. The twists in her hair, her deep blue eyes, the red ribbon that bounced in her hair. Her cool skin glowed in the dark backdrop. But, then it escaped him.

He forgot what her face looked like. Blinking, he thought it could refresh his memory. He closed his eyes. Nothing came. 'What's wrong with me? She was just here. How can I forget it?' He squeezed his eyes tight. Unfortunately, no one can escape the lullaby of the night -except of course vampires.

But there are others who elude the siren song of night. Those who no longer feel the lull of the night that pulls towards the center of humanity. Those who live in the dark and despise its beauty. Kira had no inkling to know he had begun to change the motion of the perpetual mystery of life. He was sound asleep.

That night, a single falling star lit a pitch black sky. A sorry, lonely star losing its way home. Its only known destination would be down to earth to be consumed in that same darkness that festers in the hearts in people. A star out of its world only has so much time. Only has so much to burn away its layers. Layers that protected it from gravity. Gravity that will go against it and make a it a black hole. A black hole that would consume anything. Anything, besides what resides outside the event horizon. The event horizon will reveal the sun. The sun will burn away the chains this poor star is bound by. By then, will anything be left? Left for love, for mourning, for joy? Lonely little star, hated for its nature, forgotten because it truly is one in a million.


End file.
